Channel 4
As we enter the finale Hot Jess is tending to a critical Arby in an abandoned hospital wing. He’s strung up to more monitors than a girlfriend of Oscar Pistorius who says “Hey Stumpy – hand me my fucking jeans will you? I’m off down the club to see if I can get me some black cock”. She’s pretty strung out so it’s up to Ian and Becky to find out who’s going to be releasing the flu. They collar Donaldson’s professor Dead Dobri Gorski in a police cell and he gives up the names of the three sleeper agents set to do the deadly crop dusting. The brer they want is Terence from the fast-food joint. “Do you want DIES with that? Hahahahahah!” he is like to say before he lets loose the terrible payload on an unsuspecting world.
Over in the happy house Dead Phil is still scribbling chemical structural formulas like a twat. He and Jessica bond as she wipes remnants of Milner‘s intestines off his shit bearded face. It’s a touching moment and the distraction almost provides Lee with enough of a window to sneak in and kill Arby but Jessica cops him just in time. She lets him go for no good reason which isn’t all that convincing all things considered. Wilson decapitates him later which I suppose is more satisfying.
Soon to be joining Lee in hell is Becky – plum out of Thoraxin and begging Ian to kill her. He agrees so he can get some of that sweet Jessica pussy. Jess is as DTF as any woman in history and Ian is counting down the hours before he’s free to tear that rosy pumpum up. Unfortunately Becky survives as he tongue kisses her unconscious body and she pukes the poison right in his stupid face. Fucking Ian, man.
Phil and Jessica bond as she wipes off remnants of Milner‘s intestines off his shit bearded face.
He really is cataclysmically shit when you think about it. When he gets the chance to be a hero and snuff Terence he knifes him through the heart but then starts apologising like a little bitch. And then when the dying chump starts fumbling with the canister, he keeps trying to reason with him. Eventually he head shots him just in time and starts crying like a little bitch. Jessica really should set her sights higher. Little bitch.
All that’s left is for Wilson to self-mutilate the Chinesee Mister Rabbit symbol to into his chest and reveal HIS diabolical plan. It is to: RELEASE THE FLU VIRUS (but only among some savages somewhere, just enough to scare the civilised world into knocking back the vaccine in their millions). So really not all that much has changed.
But seriously, anybody still give a fuck about the flu outbreak?
The verdict: Terence Shatagain.
Marks out of 10: 7.5
