Anywhere but with you
She came again today. As we lay there afterwards she told me about her hopes, her dreams. She told me what a turd you were (like I didn’t already know), that she was leaving you and asked if we could be together. I told her to hold her horses. I couldn’t be with one woman. It wouldn’t be fair. I was Aerial Telly.
“Oh, you mean that website you do?” she pouted
“Do?” I said “Aerial Telly isn’t something I do. Aerial Telly is something I am. I am television incarnate. I am its eyes and ears, its breath, its spirit. Television walks among us in human form – it lives through me.”
“I am the flickering light in the corner of your lounge; I am the 48 inch high-definition plasma screen in Dixon‘s shop window; I am quality period drama. No one can come to the telly, except through me.”
“I am the flickering light in the corner of your lounge; I am the 48 inch high-definition plasma screen in Dixon’s shop window; I am quality period drama.”
“This isn’t a hobby. It’s not even a calling. It’s a destiny. No, I’m not being flash, it’s what I’m built to do“
“But you’re the only one.” she said. “The only one who’s ever made it all make sense.”
“I know” I responded. “But the television is in me. And like all my many satisfied lovers – she will always come first.”
“You’re so right.”
“Yes, I am.”
She looked sad for a moment. Then, quietly nodded to herself, new resolve painted on her face.
“Go back to that turd,” I told her, “Drop him like a bad habit and find a man who can love you for you. A man free from such a terrible burden. A man who is not a television set.”
“I love you Aerial Telly”
“Yes, I know.”
She left soon afterwards. You’ll be receiving the bad news shortly.
What kind of “man” are you?
