Aerial Telly

She came again today

She came again today


Anywhere but with you

She came again today. As we lay there afterwards she told me about her hopes, her dreams. She told me what a turd you were (like I didn’t already know), that she was leaving you and asked if we could be together. I told her to hold her horses. I couldn’t be with one woman. It wouldn’t be fair. I was Aerial Telly.

“Oh, you mean that website you do?” she pouted

“Do?” I said “Aerial Telly isn’t something I do. Aerial Telly is something I am. I am television incarnate. I am its eyes and ears, its breath, its spirit. Television walks among us in human form – it lives through me.”

“I am the flickering light in the corner of your lounge; I am the 48 inch high-definition plasma screen in Dixon‘s shop window; I am quality period drama. No one can come to the telly, except through me.”

“I am the flickering light in the corner of your lounge; I am the 48 inch high-definition plasma screen in Dixon’s shop window; I am quality period drama.”

“This isn’t a hobby. It’s not even a calling. It’s a destiny. No, I’m not being flash, it’s what I’m built to do

“But you’re the only one.” she said. “The only one who’s ever made it all make sense.”

“I know” I responded. “But the television is in me. And like all my many satisfied lovers – she will always come first.”

“You’re so right.”

“Yes, I am.”

She looked sad for a moment. Then, quietly nodded to herself, new resolve painted on her face.

“Go back to that turd,” I told her, “Drop him like a bad habit and find a man who can love you for you. A man free from such a terrible burden. A man who is not a television set.”

“I love you Aerial Telly”

“Yes, I know.”

She left soon afterwards. You’ll be receiving the bad news shortly.

What kind of “man” are you?

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