In this week’s The Guilty Dead Callum‘s older brother Puke is distant and this is understandable – there’s a 99% chance he killed his brother. With Callum’s body finally found he has every reason to worry. Like most West Ham fans he’s no stranger to violence but for some reason police aren’t questioning him. Yet. Claire now believes that the blanket Callum was wrapped in a came from their home. Someone came in their home and took it which is a bit cheeky really. The killer is obviously someone very close and very local (Puke, in other words, who isn’t even her real son as she points out to Daniel in a fit of pique). So here’s a theory: Puke accidentally murders Callum during a game of doctors and sociopaths. Daniel discovers the horror, figures Claire could never forgive Puke, gives Callum the best burial he can muster at short notice, then returning him 6 months later closer to home. Far fetched? Perhaps. But I’ll tell you this much: that boy’s not right.
Which is apparently also the case for Maggie’s boy Sam. She and husbland Pleb are called into school and told they have concerns about Sam. Poor interaction, lack of eye contact – you know what they’re getting at. That autism. I don’t care about Sam because, being a first trimester foetus at the time of the crime, he can’t have killed anyone. In any case they shouldn’t worry – if he’s a high functioning Aspie he’ll have a cop show to himself. Husbland Pleb argues with Maggie about the issue and it’s distressingly boring. If this subplot ends up being anything other than a teedfest I’ll knife myself in the neck.
In what would be a promising development if she was sexually attractive it turns out Nina the nanny was into S&M.
In what would be a promising development if she was sexually attractive it turns out Nina the nanny was into S&M. Dead Jason had a brilliant master plan to get Daniel’s PIN to steal some money for kicks using Nina as his tool. Her inability to get the PIN means he has to settle for some cash from a drawer so as well as being a shit nanny she’s also a shit sub. Maggie tracks her down to Schwerin, Germany where she now resides in a mental hospital for mentals. The case has taken its toll on her. She got the kid under her care killed and contributed heavily to her scrote borefriend’s suicide. The road to hell is paved with the sustained stupidity of people like Nina.
She got the kid under her care killed and contributed heavily to her scrote borefriend’s suicide. The road to hell is paved with the sustained stupidity of people like Nina.
But among the Feds, Maggie has spotted a flaw in Daniel’s driving-around-like-a-cunt alibi for the night of the disappearance. There are four hours unaccounted for. Daniel fesses up – he was with Teresa Morgan, contemplating leaving his wife for the much more beautiful and considerably more nuts option. “So you lied” says Maggie, “to the people who were trying to find your son”. All very well you saying that Tamsin but you don’t understand pussy rules. Family is one thing but fresh pumpum is another. Real talk.
All in all there’s nothing of real substance happens in the investigation until one Tom Rose (Christopher Fulford) confesses to killing Callum. Yeah because that’ll be the end of it. Full confessions really are the worst. Just ask Hank.
The verdict: Admit that it’s Puke and move on.
Marks out of 10: 7