ITV
In the case of the farm slaves who never had it so good Pissed Gill is going for the throat with Evie Pritchard. A proper bitch this one – suggesting that Rachel isn’t getting any (true) and that the fat baldy beardy fuck hasn’t had any in years (also true but still). Like Evie’s getting banged by studs two at a time, the poisonous old sow. After learning that the slaves had to shite in a bucket like Anthony O’Donnell the coppers can get her on trafficking even if the murder rap isn’t quite sticking yet. It’s a victory for the slavery abolitionist and a kick in the tits for every Lynyrd Skynyrd fan that ever lived.
But there’s trouble afoot for the law. After running into her at the bail hearing Evie tells the world that Pissed Gill was pissed. Of course she was. She’s Pissed Gill. An official complaint quickly follows and Pissed Gill is off the case. She won’t let Scott and Bailey lie for her because she’s too sozzled to remember what she did and would only make them look a right pair of soaks when she contradicts them.
Evie tells the world that Pissed Gill was pissed. Of course she was. She’s Pissed Gill.
Fortunately they let her retire with a full pension.
“You’re just too pissed to discipline” Pemberton tells her.
“Thanks Bossh. Hic!” says Gill before slumping against the fruit machine. Truly she was the most drunk of them all.
Anyway all that means that Bailey is now in charge and her first act is to put a shoe on her mother’s scrote borefriend after he gut punches her. Start as you meet to go on, Rach. Her violent reign of terror over her underlings produces results though. They find that Des guy in a septic tank at the farm. He’s dead like a cunt, shot to shit by a gun with Evie’s fingerprints all over it.
“You can’t get fingerprints off a gun covered in shit” says Evie confidently.
Turns out you can. Forensics! Ballistics! Evie will be spending the rest of her life in the state pen where she will at least be getting laid on the regular which seems to be particularly important to her.
We finish the series with Pissed Gill drinking an entire platoon of cops under the table. She’s finishing her career as she began it: pissed.
The verdict: Been drunk as a skunk since I’ve been home. From bar to bar like a ghost I roamed.
Marks out of 10: 7.5
