ITV
It’s day 3 of The Great Fire of Londung and the highly flammable shitbox is burning to the ground. The firebreaks the King ordered weren’t carried out and he’s fuming about it. He’d be even more vexed if he knew his brother was trying to kill him. Sarah Ginger Nause aims to be on the right side of history for a change and steals the Big Red Box from Señor Bastardo the Spaniel’s bedside. It’s a brilliant piece of espionage which even Bertrandon de la Broquière himself would envy. She proudly presents it to Tywin Lannister.
“It’s the wrong box you dozy little tart.” he tells her “Get the fuck back in there and get the right one.”
Well, her heart was in the right place. She is fortunate enough to run into Tom and tells him to get David out of Newgate while she’s on the Spaniel’s case. Tom gets there just as the place is burning down and releases David and lets about 500,000 rapists loose on a terrified city. He hands his nephew over to the Good Child Molester who promises to take into Tom’s kids while Tom goes and Whiteknights for Sarah. I think we see where his priorities lie.
Tom gets there just as the place is burning down and releases David and lets about 500,000 rapists loose on a terrified city.
Not that Sarah couldn’t do with a hand after being caught by the greasy Spaniel as she replaces the box. She GTFO when Hanford shows her mercy just as Lannister enters to knife Hanford in the guts. He’ll deal with her later but first he must race to foil the plot on the King’s life.
He bursts in just as Señor Bastardo and James are about to “convert” the King. Yeah that’s right. Convert him to a big pile of shit and mincemeat. Bastardo will be hanged, drawn and quartered and James will be sent to his room to have a good think about what he’s done.
Back among the poor people Tom and Sarah hook up and they decided they will both ignore their abandoned children to get some fucking done. She’s got a Big Red Box of her own she’d like to show him.
Apparently there’s a still an episode left of this shit. Fuck that noise.
The verdict: Overdone.
Marks out of 10: 5
