Sundance
In the best news for the human gene pool since those skinny jeans made Johnny Borrell sterile Tawney miscarries and nobody is more delighted than her. It means she’s able to fuck Killer Dan as freely, often and as hard as any woman raised in a shame-based religious tradition can. The man himself meets with Liberal John who tells him the plea bargain the D.A. is prepared to sign off on. Time served, the rape charge squashed and Dan GTFO of Paulie for ever. Amantha is agin it of course and she rides Liberal John over his disgraceful faithfully serving his client. Poor LJ – always getting an earful from her. Apparently saving her murdering brother from death row once isn’t enough.
Sheriff Dagnabit is having a hard time tracking down George Melton. He visits his pops who clearly has no clue. “I’m over here in the creek, retard!” says George who just can’t catch a break.
You could say the same for Teddy. The otherwise flawless business plan of Rigs for Jigs has hit a snag. No one is paying for them. And when Tawney tells him about their genetic trash zygote aborting itself the milk and cookies she provides don’t help it go down any better. As he mourns the loss she pores over college brochures as far away from him as possible. He can’t help but feel slightly rejected.
The otherwise flawless business plan of Rigs for Jigs has hit a snag. No one is paying for them.
He wonders why she’s not sadder. “Hmm. Probably because I’m free to fuck Killer Dan now?” she says without thinking. “Go to him” he says “Give him your body” he continues in case she hadn’t got the picture. “Let him tear into you!” Fucking hell, Ted we get it. Christ. Tawney makes a hasty exit as it’s all got a bit too weird for her.
It gives Ted the opportunity to do some drinking and do some thinking. The upshot of which is he decides it would be a really good idea to drive over to the home of a gentleman defaulting on his payments to take the rims back. He gets a smack in the chops and the kick in the guts for his trouble. The man correctly points out that he’s “just a pathetic little bitch” yet this completely fair comment provokes a savage response. Ted wails on him, pummelling him senseless and – in a final insult – pukes on his lawn. He gets those rims back as well. Good for him. He may have lost a wife and baby but nobody does a rimjob like Teddy.
Things are looking up for Dan when he gets a night-time booty call from Tawney. “I lost my baby, Daniel” she tells him. “Well, it’s always in the last place you look” he responds unhelpfully. They dance away the heartache as the night closes in.
Just the finale to go. When will the killing end? When?
The verdict: Please plea me, whoa yeah.
Marks out of 10: 8
