BBC Four
Previously on The Bridge: The Friends found out that if you keep your enemies close they kill you. “The Fight Don’t End” says the banner around the dumb turds and while it is staged as a suicide Saga knows that’s a crock of shit. Linus is brought into the police station and finds out through the TV that Dickless is lifeless which is exactly the kind of thoughtful approach to breaking bad news we’ve come to associate with Copenhagen Police Department. Between putting Aspie Saga onto grieving relatives and letting the TV do the work they really need to brush up on their family liaison skills.
Speaking of grieving relatives the death of the Friends comes as a shock to Julian and he tells Saga and Martin a few half-truths while trying to get some answers from them himself. He has another strange Internet chat with his Mother of Three overlord who tells him the kids had “too many ideas” and that’s why they had to die. He fakes agreement, saying wants to “meet” Mother. A “birthday party” and “graduation” are planned. I dunno man. I don’t think there’s going to be a birthday party OR graduation at all. It seems obvious that Mother doesn’t know that it was his sister they killed and he’s packing a revolver in preparation.
Linus is brought into the police station and finds out through the TV that Dickless is lifeless
In better news for everyone Caroline has found her replacement keynote speaker: Victoria Nordgren, head of the Medisonus pharmaceutical company who employed Dickless. If this is sounding like the plot of ‘Naked Gun 2 1/2‘ to you then you’re not alone. Caroline ends up ringing the number of the male hooker her nausey Sex and the City sister Bodil gave her and he visits while husbland Alexander is away on business. It’s an abortive shag and I’m not sure why I’m watching this.
If this is sounding like the plot of ‘Naked Gun 2 1/2’ to you then you’re not alone.
In perverting the course of justice news Rasmus deletes lines from the Katarina files, specifically the bit about someone (him) being assaulted outside her flat day before she died. Oh my. What is he up to? Covering his arse or something more sinister?
Once police get Linus to open up he reveals that he tagged Dickless’s visitor’s car with a cock and balls so it’s only a matter of time before they realise that it was Julian visiting Dickless that day. They go to his IT firm, seize the computers and servers and generally make a big nuisance of themselves. Julian hides in Laura’s car and gives her the shock of her life when she gets in. He begs her for assistance in his escape – she’ll do it for 10,000 kroner (about £3.50 once the Danish economy collapses). As she showed when she buried herself in her lecturer’s box she’s a girl who likes taking risks. She’s in!
As she showed when she buried herself in her lecturer’s box she’s a girl who likes taking risks. She’s in!
She takes him to daddy’s computer to make his final arrangements and they make a deal: another 5000 kroner and she’ll film the meeting with Mother of Three for him. Weird voyeuristic dad spies on her from his remote-controlled CCTV which, as well as providing beatoff material for him, helps Saga and Martin track them down later. They rendezvous at Malmo Stadium that night, Laura on the roof with her video camera, Julian on the ground waiting for Mommy.
Weird voyeuristic dad spies on her which, as well as providing beatoff material for him, helps Saga and Martin track them down later.
A car flashes its headlights then moments later a ruffian crouches over Julian’s prostrate body. It’s early days but I don’t think this meeting is going to plan. Laura makes to GTFO, gets in her car but is silenced before she can drive off with a gunshot to the noggin. It looks bad. I mean head shots never look good but this looks BAD. Shortly afterwards dreary husbland Alexander gets home and snuggles up to Caroline. Is he Stressed out Mom? His Facebook likes include maternity rights, breast implants and bioterrorism. These people.
Is he Stressed out Mom? His Facebook likes include maternity rights, breast implants and bioterrorism?
Martin visits Jens again. He tried to convince him of his own humanity. He wants to speak to the old Yawns. Good luck with that. He does get a make out with Pernille but he can’t take it further because every time he gets an erection he thinks of his dead son. She thinks this is hot but he’ll need some persuading. Notoriously prudish, the Danes.
The verdict: Toxic parenting.
Marks out of 10: 8
