BBC2

Hear the Kerrang Radio review

What a compelling ride it’s been on the icy log flume of DSI Stella Gibson‘s procedural throughline. She was as remorseless in her pursuit of Belfast strangler Paul Spector as Blandrew Stinkin is in in his pursuit of the century’s least convincing American accent. The spectre of Spector lurking like an implausibly hot murderer in the apartments of pretty young professional women has been one of the more arresting spectacles on TV this year. The smouldering goon has been impressively played by Jamie Dornan, musician, underwear model and general overachieving pain in the balls. He has the sensitivity to evoke sympathy, the menace to provoke fear. “Choke me next, Paul!” was the unanimous response from the show’s female fans. You people. “Even a multiple murderer can have his share of good qualities or a pretty face” says Stella as she pervs over his photofit. Good to know.

“What a compelling ride it’s been on the icy log flume of DSI Stella Gibson’s procedural throughline. She was as remorseless in her pursuit of Belfast strangler Paul Spector as Blandrew Stinkin is in in his pursuit of the century’s least convincing American accent.”

Physically Spector is imposing. 6’1 with a body ripped to shreds and the iron will of a pure ment he’s not someone you’d want to tangle with. He convinces his wife to lie to police about his night-time whereabouts and confesses to a non-existent affair with the babysitter to explain the subterfuge. At first she is all “get out you horny goat” but before you know it he’s choke fucking her out in his shitbox hideout in the woods making it all OK again. “I’m pregnant!” she announces in the 3 seconds she has her breath. “It’s OK – just fuck me” she continues. Rough sex KO1 marriage therapy

Elsewhere, the Morgan Monroe scandal subplot with its Serbian hookers, bent cops and fat businessman seemed oddly underdeveloped which was a shame as it was intriguing. Top brass cop Jim Burns (Eric Cantona) was balls deep in that little horror show, the terrified syphilitic badger.

“It’s come to something when a sexual sadist choking women to death in their own homes is automatically labelled a misogynist.”

But the real money shot comes with Paul ringing the police incident line to speak to Stella. Once on the blower with her he insists on a more private number and like any girl talking to a handsome conflicted underwear model she quickly gives up her personal mobile so they can politick away from judgemental ears. “Has she just given her number to a serial killer?” asks Jim Burns. Well at least she didn’t help a cop killer flee the country you Cantona looking piece of shit.

“It is indisputably true that Paul Spector’s death choke has launched a thousand guilty fap fantasies among the watching female public. At last they now know a portion of the self-hate men felt when they cry wanked over the 15-year-old Haley Dunphy on Modern Family.”

“Now you’ve got me to yourself” she purrs “what do you want to say to me?” Phew. Is it me or did itust get hot in here? “We’re very alike you and me” he tells her, holding the phone with his free hand “both driven by a Will to Power, a desire to control everything and everyone”. They also both keep women’s underwear in their bags but that’s another fucking story. After further philoso word wanking Stella interrupts to tell him that, contrary to what his groupies and his shit brain have been telling him all these years, he’s no Nietzschean superman. He’s a slave to his desires, a three-post ment, the loosest of loose screws – just another misogynist.

It’s come to something when a sexual sadist choking women to death in their own homes is automatically labelled a misogynist. Paul resents the charge and gloats at having got away with them murders he done. Oh he thinks he’s untouchable this one.

Stella begs to differ. “You fucked up. You moved against Annie too soon” she says and she tells him what she thinks he knows about him – that he called himself Peter at one point, studied literature, he’s a father with a daughter aged 7 or 8. Stella hones in on his love for his daughter and what the revelation of his crimes will do to her. All of a sudden he’s less cocky. He ditches the phone then gets the dip in up to Scotland with his pregnant wife and kids in the car all singing along to “I’ll tell me ma” and you have to at least appreciate the grim irony there. We end with the news that Annie Brawley has regained consciousness. Good luck with that new life in Scotland you horrible handsome bastard.

It is indisputably true that Paul Spector’s death choke has launched a thousand guilty fap fantasies among the watching female public. At last they now know a portion of the self-hate men feel when they cry wanked over the 15-year-old Haley Dunphy on Modern Family. The second season the BBC just commissioned is as well deserved as Steve Brookstein‘s post X-Factor slump.

The verdict on The Fall: She is handsome she is pretty. She is the belle of Belfast City. Although she’s not so hot now since she’s been seeing that grief counsellor yknowhumsaying?

Marks out of 10: 8