Peaky Blinders episode 5

BBC2

Previously on Peaky Blinders: woire the Pikey Bloinders – if coppers come for uz, woill cut them a smoile each. Tommoi tends to Danny‘s grave which is a bit weird given that we know that Danny is no more dead than Tim Dog. Grace manages to get this information out of world’s thickest cunt Arthur and she wonders to herself: if Danny’s not in that grave then who is? Arthur has quite a busy schedule this week and he begins by taking a trip to an illegal boxing set-to in Small Heath. The nerve of these people setting up their operation without so much as a courtesy call to the Peaky Blinders never mind paying the appropriate levy. Arthur is all set to shut them down when he hears a familiar voice, sees a familiar face and feels the familiar emotion of annihilating despair. Hi dad!

Yes, it’s Arthur Shelby senior, one-time patriarch of the Shelby clan and it’s Chibs from Sons of Anarchy (Tommy Flanagan) playing him. Tommoi tells him to do one but Arthur jnr wants to get to know Daddy Chibs again. He learns his Pops is into casinos now and that he just needs a few quid – £500 should cover it – to make he and Junior millionaires.

Arthur jumps at it. Chibs looks at him like Walter White looks at Junior all “I spawned this?” They then have a bare knuckle boxing match which Chibs predictably wins. He raises his son’s hand in triumph and announces “this is my beloved son with whom I well pleased”.  Arthur junior shouts “Oi luv you dad!” as they embrace. Jesus Christ he’s thick even for a Brummie.

Arthur junior shouts “Oi luv you dad” as they embrace. Jesus Christ he’s thick even for a Brummie.

The stink over Grace’s sectarian killing of the Sparkbrook Fenian isn’t going away. IRA man Nidge from Love/Hate (Tom Vaughan-Lawlor) appears requesting an audience with Tommoi. The dead man was his cousin and he has a proposal for the Blinders: he wants the stolen guns or the Irish Republican Army wipes them out. Tommoi tells them he will hand them over for a price. Sounds like a good deal – everyone’s happy.

But of course he’s actually setting them up for Campballs. When negotiations go south Grace comes out blasting, killing one of the IRA men before Tommoi caves in the skull of the other with a slop bucket. It might sound harsh but you know the IRA’s record in Birmingham pubs. Grace negotiates Tommoi’s immunity from Campballs’ wrath with the location of the guns – Danny Ryan’s grave. He gives her his word and as he retrieves the guns from the cemetery plot she sings a deeply meta version of I Am Stretched on Your Grave to Tommoi in The Garrison. It’s kind of cute.

Tommoi caves in the skull of the other with a slop bucket. It might sound harsh but you know the IRA’s record in Birmingham pubs.

So that’s Operation Stolen Gun Retrieval done. Campballs passes on the good news to Churchill and Grace resigns. He takes the opportunity to propose marriage and she takes the opportunity to tell him to get tae fuck. In a rare moment of insight Campballs realises that Tommoi is behind the brutal friendzoning. Cockblocked by a Peaky Blinder – oh the infamy.

In a rare moment of insight Campballs realises that Tommoi is behind the brutal friendzoning. Cockblocked by a Peaky Blinder – oh the infamy.

You can guess what’s next. Campballs and his men come for Tommoi who heads back to Grace’s and taps that ass like Morse Code. Campbell watches through the window, masturbating furiously. He bides his time, something he’s got plenty of now.

In the world’s least surprising development Daddy Chibs GTFO with Arthur’s money. Arthur’s all sad and makes the one correct decision of his life and tries to hangs himself. He even fucks that up. “You should have used a gun” says Tommoi and he’s right although we all know he’d probably miss.

“You should have used a gun” says Tommoi and he’s right although we all know he’d probably miss.

I imagine they’ll be after rapey Billy Kimber in the finale. That should be interesting.

The verdict: Daddy cruel, daddy cruel.

Marks out of 10: 7.5