Channel 5
If TV in recent years has been defined by anything it’s people pissing. Pissing on people, pissing on things, pissing for pleasure, profit, the hell of it – incidences have skyrocketed and it’s as baffling as Come Fly With Me getting a second series. So when Nidge finishes the fourth series of Love/Hate by urinating on the police’s daily milk delivery before being dragged to a cell where he howls, beats his bare chest bloody and generally comes on like a three-post ment it isn’t quite as much of a surprise as it could be. But how did we get to that series of events? Well that’s why I’m here.
If TV in recent years has been defined by anything it’s people pissing.
The lignocaine shipment is all ready to arrive and it’s Simple Tom masterminding operations on the day. On account of his shit brain he can plead diminished responsibility to pretty much anything so it’s the smart move. Beating him within an inch of his life was probably the best thing Nidge ever did.
On account of his shit brain Tommy can plead diminished responsibility to pretty much anything so it’s the smart move.
There’s no time to him to relax though because Fran is frantic – paranoid that he is being cut out of the drug deal. To find out the location he hits up dental Blandrew for the whereabouts of the shipment. During this transaction it becomes clear that Blandrew has been snitching to Moynihan and that the drugs deal will in fact be a drugs bust. Fran doesn’t like snitches at all though he does have a fit of the giggles at the thought of Nidge’s impending incarceration. He has a good laugh at the irony as he suffocates Andrew with an impressively robust Ocado bag. Oh Blandrew – killed by bougie aspiration. If you’d gone to Iceland that shit would have split in 10 seconds.
Fran suffocates Andrew with an impressively robust Ocado bag. Oh Blandrew – killed by bougie aspiration.
Over at the port Moynihan and his undercover crew watch like paparazzi as Tommy waits with the rest of the gang for the payload that will change their lives forever. Hate to say it but he’s looked better. Bleeding from every orifice, convulsing on the ground and foaming at the mouth Tommy looks at death’s door. You pick your times don’t you, son?
Bleeding from every orifice, convulsing on the ground and foaming at the mouth Tommy looks at death’s door.
Moynihan is faced with a stark choice: hold back and see if he spontaneously recovers, risking his life but keeping the operation alive or radio for an ambulance, blow his cover and let these pieces of shit walk free. The better angel of his nature prevails. Simple Tom lives on to fuck up another criminal conspiracy and Nidge dodges another bullet. He’s so elated at his narrow escape he makes the cop shop his first port of call to make his impromptu call of nature against the cartons of Avonmore.
Simple Tom lives on to fuck up another criminal conspiracy and Nidge dodges another bullet.
In other news Siobhan promises Moynihan anything he needs to take her uncle down but that feels like a lifetime away, or at the very least one final series. On a positive note that little cat killing fuck Wayne gets plugged by his friend for disrespecting his BMX riding chops. Schoolboy error but then he is a schoolboy I suppose.
The verdict: Lignocaine for the soul, before I sputter out.
Marks out of 10: 7.5
