BBC Four
Previously on Salamander: I dunno – something about a monk and a bank robbery. When does Match of the Day come on? Gerardi drives away with Carl yelling at him to think of Sofie “Because I will be. That bitch is fine, yo!” Gerardi has been clever enough to leave some incriminating Jonkhere material with Brother Victor at the monastery. One of them is a photo of four dudes with the date April ’44 on the back. Paul’s first item on his to-do list is “pick up Sofie before the bad guys get to her” but Vic already has his paws on his daughter when he arrives at the school. Vic tranqs and tags him, takes him in and gets to interrogating.
Gerardi drives away with Carl yelling at him to think of Sofie “Because I will be. That bitch is fine, yo!”
Joachim Klaus chats with what appears to be the real mastermind behind the bank heist and blackmailings – a white-haired freak in what looks like a pretty tidy gaffe. Wait, he’s got that same April ’44 photo of the four dudes. Nazi collaborators I’d imagine.
Whatever the story he’s certainly got it in for these Salamander members. Minister Laridon has resigned and disappeared – it’s a mystery but we assume that’s what Klaus bid him do. Jonkhere is losing faith with Persigal and they have a bitch fight that seems certain to lead to further tedium.
And the unwelcome mail packages just keep coming. Rasenberg receives one and he don’t like it. They never do. This time it’s a photo of a party on the beach and there’s a micro-cassette recording of him hushing up a royal scandal. No wonder he’s getting snappy with his missus.
There’s a showdown between Persigal and Paul. It’s as lacking in tension as you’d expect. Persigal tries to get Paul to work for him. When he refuses Vic takes a blindfolded Paul for a ride. A DEADLY ride. Or not, I mean it’s not like he’s going to get killed off this early on is it?
In a stunning climax Carl shows up at Sarah‘s and narrowly avoids putting his cock in her. While the grown-ups are having fun doing that Sofie pisses off to do whatever it is hot 15-year-olds do.
Christ this show is dull. I don’t know how I could care less about it.
The verdict: Six more episodes of this?
Marks out of 10: 4