“I literally don’t know what to say to you” said lovely Doctor Sarah to evil (now redemptive) Paul Kellerman after he had just exonerated her and Lincoln Burrows from all charges against them. You could understand the awkwardness. Kellerman had posed as a gay alcoholic to win Sarah’s trust, tortured her in a motel room then left her to drown in the bath. But now he rolls up in court as possibly the best surprise witness in the history of history and unravels the biggest conspiracy in the history of history. It all makes a crazy kind of sense though. This is Prison Break, after all, and Sarah was soon on a plane to Panama to tell the brothers the good news. “Lincoln’s a free man” she said. Now everyone knows that Linc NEVER DONE IT, the gang can all move on with their lives? Well, kind of.
“Sarah soon stopped Mr Kim’s babbling by plugging the little fucker with an ounce of lead. Goodbye fuckface. You will not be missed.”
It was a hectic wind up for the season with Michael and Lincoln facing down Mahone in a warehouse and they were quickly joined by the laughable Mr Kim who spent season two affecting the air of an unctuous Cantonese waiter who was just about to lace your prawn crackers with arsenic. Mahone had dreams of a future love paradise with his missus bankrolled by the $5 million he was jacking the brothers for but such grand-scale larceny rarely goes well when you’re part of the mother of all conspiracies and he found himself banged up in the mysterious Sona prison which makes Fox River look like a five-star hotel. Michael and Lincoln escaped this confrontation to join Sarah on their little steamboat on the river. Although that stupid little twat Mr Kim had to spoil things by turning up with a gun shouting the odds. Sarah soon stopped his babbling though by plugging the little fucker with an ounce of lead. Goodbye fuckface. You will not be missed.
“Michael took the rap for Sarah (if you’ve been following Prison Break you know that nobody goes to prison for a crime they actually committed).”
The Panamanian police arrived with scarcely believable efficiency and Michael took the rap for Sarah’s cold blooded murdering (if you’ve been following Prison Break you know that nobody actually goes to prison for a crime they committed) and he is also shipped off to the Sona hell hole where he notices Bellick is a beaten and bloodied prison bitch. Panama had started off promisingly for Bellick. Having kidnapped and hidden Maricruz he had excellent leverage over Sucre to help get his hands on the 5 mill. But television’s favourite one handed white supremacist baby rapist T-Bag framed him for the murder of some prossie and now he’s eating beef pussy hairy man ass crack in Central America. These holiday romances never finish well. So by the sound of things Michael will be Prison Breaking in a whole new country. Confusingly the evil General of The Company (that’s the big conspiracy for those that ain’t know) tells his henchmen that he wants Michael to escape from Sona. What in the deuces is going on?
“Bellick is now eating beef pussy hairy man ass crack in Central America. These holiday romances never finish well.”
I couldn’t begin to say. But the important thing is that Prison Break has completed another excellent season without any significant drop in quality. Personally, I really like the idea of Michael facing new challenges in a new prison with new murderous psychopaths and corrupt guards. I really don’t fancy his chances if he’s relying on Lincoln to spring him – it’s long been established that Michael got both the brains and the looks of the family.
Sarah, I have higher hopes for – what a lovely, clever piece of pie she is. The smackhead medic has endured her father’s murder, her own torture and drowning and her subsequent trial and come back smelling of roses and pumpkin pie. And Prison Break is still rocking its khakis with a cuff and a crease and it’s still got love for the streets.
The best thing about it: A new start in a new prison. A change is as good as a rest.
The worst thing about it: A shame Haywire had to die.
The verdict on Prison Break Season Two Finale : Panama, here we come!
Marks out of 10: 8