I could happily review Prison Break every week. There’s certainly enough material. Each episode provides a season’s worth of twists, fake outs, tight scrapes and cliffhangers. The union of prison drama and conspiracy thriller has turned from a marriage of convenience into a love match than makes Bobby and Whitney‘s look staid and mundane in comparison.
It’s not the only love match in the offing, either. Michael’s chemistry with Dr Sarah Tancredi continues to sizzle like copper sulphate poured down a drainage pipe. That girl is so damp for him that the wallpaper in her surgery starts peeling off every time he rolls up his sleeve for his insulin jab. She needs a beach towel on her chair when he’s up in this piece. When they finally share a post-injection kiss (something smackhead Sarah must be no stranger to) it’s around five hours before she stops levitating, gliding around her practice like The Gentlemen from Buffy.
“That girl is so damp for him that the wallpaper in her surgery starts peeling off every time he rolls up his sleeve for his insulin jab.”
She knows that the Blue Steel of Michael’s eyes signals “DANGER Will Robinson” but she just can’t resist his violating stare, washboard abs and labyrinthine tattoo. She recognises his sensitive side, it’s clear. How many cons knock up an origami rose for you on your birthday?
“‘I think I can reach him’ she tells Michael’s shrink. Oh I bet you do, you dirty little bitch although I think reach around is the term you’re looking for.”
Dr Tancredi is weird stalker girlfriend material, make no mistake. Following up on obscure leads on her obsession – tracking down his psychiatrist who reveals Michael’s low latent inhibition which, as any fool knows, leads to genius in those of a high IQ. “I think I can reach him” she tells Michael ‘s shrink. Oh I bet you do, you dirty little bitch although I think reach around is the term you’re looking for.
“Sarah is a lovely piece of pie and the only ass Michael is getting for the foreseeable future is beef pussy hairy man ass crack.”
Michael feels the same way, showing the family attraction to weird women along with Lunk the Skunk‘s fatal attraction for Veronica Donovan, world’s worst real-estate lawyer and primo plastic surgery candidate. And let’s face it, Sarah is a lovely piece of pie and the only ass Michael is getting for the foreseeable future is beef pussy hairy man ass crack.
And I think it’s safe to say that Homie Don’t Play That.
“I guess we’re supposed to feel uncomfortable at liking a racist murdering paedophile.”
Which is more than could be said for T Bag the nation’s favourite child rapist who holds down a bizarre level of fanlove thanks to Robert Knepper‘s compelling performance. I guess we’re supposed to feel uncomfortable at liking a racist murdering paedophile. Personally I wouldn’t be too gutted to see him get properly shanked and sold down the Fox River, well played and written though he is.
As the new episodes play out, the encouraging thing is that Prison Break has just got better post-hiatus. The reveal in the climactic episode 13 that Terence Steadman is still alive puts a whole new spin on things – as did the introduction of Michael and Linc’s father. Not to mention the new dynamic of Kellerman and Vice-President versus The Company. New conflicts and power shifts are keeping everything fresh.
“This is Prison Break where ruthless killers walk the streets and good men are sentenced to death.”
There is also the new problem of world’s unluckiest teenager LJ who is now locked up for the murders of his mother and stepfather. I need hardly mention that he NEVER DONE IT as this is Prison Break where ruthless killers walk the streets and good men are sentenced to death. Well, alright where Lincoln is sentenced to death but you take my point.
“If they want LJ inside, dodging gang bummings and crooked bulls with Michael effecting some remote masterplan – that’s fine by me.”
Knowing as we do that Michael has a pathological need to rescue people, the possibility looms that a second series will involve LJ being busted out of prison. Many fans deride this idea, seeing it as an irredeemable shark jump for the show.
Maybe. Personally, I’m willing to put my faith in the writers and producers who have produced this little marvel. If they want LJ inside, dodging gang bummings and crooked bulls with Michael effecting some remote masterplan from his South American hideaway as the Feds close in – that’s fine by me. I figured they’ve earned it.
The best thing about it: It still has the ability to surprise.
The worst thing about it: Episodes are leaking onto the Web in the wrong order.
The verdict on Prison Break : There’s no escaping its dopeness.
Marks out of 10: 8.5