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TV REVIEWS
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10 Years Younger
24: Season 4
24: Season 5
24 Season 5 finale
24: Season 6
24 Season 7
30 Rock
Abi Titmuss
Aerial Telly Awards 2005
Aerial Telly Awards 2006
Aerial Telly Awards 2007
Aerial Telly Awards 2008
Aerial Telly search queries
Aerial Telly search queries 2
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Aerial Comment
Alive: Back To The Andes
Amy Winehouse on Never Mind the Buzzcocks
Amy Winehouse on the Charlotte Church show
Anti-Social Old Buggers
The Apprentice
The Apprentice Series Three Final
The Apprentice Series 3 half-term report
The Apprentice Season 4
The Apprentice Series 4 Finale
The Armstrongs
Arrested Development
Ashes to Ashes
Balderdash And Piffle
Battered Men: Hidden Lives
Battlestar Galactica Season 3
Battlestar Galactica Season 3 finale
Battlestar Galactica Season 4
Battlestar Galactica Season 4 mid-season finale
Battlestar Galactica: Sometimes a Great Notion
Beauty And The Geek
Being Human
Bernard Manning From Beyond the Grave
Bernard Matthews Golden Moments
Big Brother 2005
Big Brother 2006 Launch Night
Big Brother 2007
Big Brother 2007: Get that chickenhead hoodrat out
Big Brother 2008
Big Brother 2008 - It's a Wonderful Life (when you're not in it, bitch
Big Brother 2008 - Mario must die
Big Brother 2008: Stuart tapped the compassion vending machine and it toppled over and fell on top of him
Big Brother's Big Mouth
Big Brother, Emily Parr and racism
Big Brother got no gas, Sienna Miller got no ass, Mark Ronson got no class
Big Brother poetry
Big Brother, Shilpa Shetty and racism
Bionic Woman pre-air pilot
Bo! in the USA
Bodies
Bodies series finale
Body Shock: Half Ton Man
Bollocks To Cancer
Bonekickers
The Boys Who Killed Stephen Lawrence
Breaking Bad
Bremner, Bird and Fortune
Bring Back...Grange Hill
Britney and Kevin: Chaotic
Buffy the Career Slayer?
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Californication
Carnivale
Catherine Tate Christmas Special
CBeebies website
Celebrity Big Brother
Celebrity Big Brother 2006
Celebrity Big Brother 2007
Celebrity Big Brother 2009
Celebrity Fit Club
Celebrity Love Island
The Charlotte Church Show
China
Christmas television review 2006
Comic Relief Does The Apprentice
Coming Of Age
Compulsion
The Contender
The Contender Season Two
Criminal Justice
Cutting Edge: My Kid's Psychic
Cutting Edge: Pram Face
Damages
The Dark Side Of Porn
The Dark Side Of Porn: Amateur Porn
Dead Ringers
Deadwood
Deadwood - a lament
Deadwood Season 3
Derek Acorah's Ghost Towns
Derren Brown: The Heist
Derren Brown's Russian Roulette
Derren Brown - Trick Or Treat
Dexter Season One
Dexter Season Two
Diane Vickers: the claw, the whore, the bore
Dispatches: The Big Heist
Doctor Who
Dragons Den
Drive
EastEnders
Election 2005 coverage
Emily Parr - an apology
Entourage Season 5 Premiere
Escape to the Legion
Euro 2008 TV coverage
Everybody Hates Chris
Extraordinary People - The Girl Who Makes Miracles
Extras
Extras Christmas special
Fat Beauty Contest
Feel The Force
Firefly - The Complete Series
Floyd Mayweather v Carlos Manuel Baldomir
Fonejacker
Friday Night Project
Generation Kill
Going Cold Turkey
Guys And Dolls
Hannah Bradbeer - wide forehead having X Factor goddess
Heather Mills: what really happened
Heroes
Heroes Season One Finale
Hidden Lives - Three In A Bed
House
How Not To Live Your Life
HSBC adverts
I'm All Shook Up: Parkinson's at 25
I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here
I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here, 2006
I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here 2008
In This Corner
The Inbetweeners
Inside Waco
It's Me Or The Dog
Jericho
John From Cincinnati
Jordan and Peter: Marriage And Mayhem
Joss Stone Cadbury's Flake advert
Joss Whedon's Dollhouse will be the greatest television show in history
Journeyman
jPod
Keys To The Vip
Keys To The Vip update - Aerial Telly bringing "people" together
The Kill Point
King Of Shaves advert
Life
The Life and Times of Tim
Life on Mars
Loose Women
Lost
Lost Season 2
Lost Season Three Finale
Lost Season 3: half-term report
Lost Season 3 Premiere
Lost Season Four Half Term report
Mad Men
Mad Men Season 2
Mad Men Season 2 Finale
The Madness of Boy George
Mars Believe World Cup Campaign
Man vs Wild
Mary Archer
The Mentalist
Michael Carroll: King Of Chavs
The Mitchell Brothers' Return
Monkey Dust
Morales v Barrera III
My Family
My Name Is Earl
My Penis And I
Nibble Nobby's Nuts adverts
Nigella
Neighbours 20th anniversary show
No Angels
No Heroics
Old Enough To Be His Mother
Oscars 2005
Party Animals
Peaches Geldof: Teen America
Pete Burns' Cosmetic Surgery Nightmares
The Peter Serafinowicz Show
The Pick-up Artist
The Pickup Artist Season 2 Premiere
Preston's Walk Out on Never Mind The Buzzcocks
Prison Break
Prison Break 2
Prison Break Season Two: half-term report
Prison Break Season Two Premiere
Prison Break Season Two Finale
Prison Break Season 4 Half Term Report
Pulling |
Prison Break 2
FOX
Spoilers up to episode 19
I could happily review Prison Break every week. There's certainly enough material. Each episode provides a season's worth of twists, fake outs, tight scrapes and cliffhangers. The union of prison drama and conspiracy thriller has turned from a marriage of convenience into a love match than makes Bobby and Whitney's look staid and mundane in comparison.
"That girl is so damp for him that the wallpaper in her surgery starts peeling off every time he rolls up his sleeve for his insulin jab."
It's not the only love match in the offing, either. Michael's chemistry with Dr Sarah Tancredi continues to sizzle like copper sulphate
poured down a drainage pipe. That girl is so damp for him that the wallpaper in her surgery starts peeling off every time he rolls up his sleeve for his insulin jab. She needs a beach towel on her chair when he's up in this piece. When they finally share a post-injection kiss (something smackhead Sarah must be no stranger to) it's around five hours before she stops levitating, gliding around her practice like The Gentlemen from Buffy.
"'I think I can reach him' she tells Michael's shrink. Oh I bet you do, you dirty little bitch although I think reach around is the term you're looking for."
She knows that the Blue Steel of Michael's eyes signals "DANGER Will Robinson" but she just can't resist his violating stare, washboard abs and labyrinthine tattoo. She recognises his sensitive side, it's clear. How many cons knock up an origami rose for you on your birthday?
Dr Tancredi is weird stalker girlfriend material, make no mistake. Following up on obscure leads on her obsession - tracking down his psychiatrist who reveals Michael's low latent inhibition which, as any fool knows, leads to genius in those of a high IQ. "I think I can reach him" she tells Michael 's shrink. Oh I bet you do, you dirty little bitch although I think reach around is the term you're looking for.
"Sarah is a lovely piece of pie and the only ass Michael is getting for the foreseeable future is beef pussy hairy man ass crack."
Michael feels the same way, showing the family attraction to weird women along with Lunk the Skunk's fatal attraction for Veronica Donovan, world's worst real-estate lawyer and primo plastic surgery candidate. And let's face it, Sarah is a lovely piece of pie and the only ass Michael is getting for the foreseeable future is beef pussy hairy man ass crack.
And I think it's safe to say that Homie Don't Play That.
"I guess we're supposed to feel uncomfortable at liking a racist murdering paedophile."
Which is more than could be said for T Bag the nation's favourite child rapist who holds down a bizarre level of fanlove thanks to Robert Knepper's compelling performance. I guess we're supposed to feel uncomfortable at liking a racist murdering paedophile. Personally I wouldn't be too gutted to see him get properly shanked and sold down the Fox River, well played and written though he is.
As the new episodes play out, the encouraging thing is that Prison Break has just got better post-hiatus. The reveal in the climactic episode 13 that Terence Steadman is still alive puts a whole new spin on things - as did the introduction of Michael and Linc's father. Not to mention the new dynamic of Kellerman and Vice-President versus The Company. New conflicts and power shifts are keeping everything fresh.
"This is Prison Break where ruthless killers walk the streets and good men are sentenced to death."
There is also the new problem of world's unluckiest teenager LJ who is now locked up for the murders of his mother and stepfather. I need hardly mention that he NEVER DONE IT as this is Prison Break where ruthless killers walk the streets and good men are sentenced to death. Well, alright where Lincoln is sentenced to death but you take my point.
"If they want LJ inside, dodging gang bummings and crooked bulls with Michael effecting some remote masterplan - that's fine by me."
Knowing as we do that Michael has a pathological need to rescue people, the possibility looms that a second series will involve LJ being busted out of prison. Many fans deride this idea, seeing it as an irredeemable shark jump for the show.
Maybe. Personally, I'm willing to put my faith in the writers and producers who have produced this little marvel. If they want LJ inside, dodging gang bummings and crooked bulls with Michael effecting some remote masterplan from his South American hideaway as the Feds close in - that's fine by me. I figured they've earned it.
The best thing about it: It still has the ability to surprise.
The worst thing about it: Episodes are leaking onto the Web in the wrong order.
The verdict on Prison Break : There's no escaping its dopeness.
Marks out of 10: 8.5

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AERIAL TELLY'S GUIDE TO LIFE
10 reasons why you're scum if you smoke
2007: your relationshit is going nowhere
2008 - Napoleon Boneypie finally faces her Waterloo
2009 - Aerial Telly keeps coming
50 ways to grieve your lover
Aerial Telly - Black Irish bastard with the heart of a warrior and the soul of a poet
Aerial Telly's favourite TV critics
Aerial Telly - high functioning sociopath with narcissistic tendencies
Aerial Telly is not saying he had sex with Kate McCann but....
Aerial Telly loves Joni Mitchell but Little Green is not a deeply moving account of a mother's love for her child. It is an account of how Joni Mitchell gave up her child for money, fame and cock
Aerial Telly's favourite TV critics
Aerial Telly - sensitive, damaged, wounded yet lionhearted when it comes to the crunch
Aerial Telly will not be sexing Doctor Kate McCann
Amy, for the love of God eat some chips you loopy cunt
Aniston: Jolie's cock arms are 'very uncool'
Apology for slavery
The BBC played with Aerial Telly and all they got was an anal fissure, bruised scrotum, perforated eardrum, fractured occipital lobe, post traumatic stress disorder and the biggest face full of cum ever unleashed in peacetime
The big veiny cock arms of love are strangling Brad Pitt
Gerald McClellan - dog murdering bastard who felt God's fury
Get stuffed you creeps - Aerial Telly is the best thing that ever happened to you and you know it
Give me any backchat and I'll circumcise your face with a knife dipped in shit
God bless the ginger balls of our brave assassin Prince
Got the time, bruv?
Greta Scacchi, insane cock-crazed beauty who boned her cousin
Handsome, talented and a sensational lay - but life is not all roses for Aerial Telly
Happy Christmas cock smokers
Having trouble with your long-turd relationshit? Relax, it's not just you.
Insurance is for punks, credit is for the weak and self-knowledge is a road seldom travelled by the multitude
It was the best of weeks, it was the worst of weeks
Kate McCann requests Aerial Telly phone number.
Ladies - Aerial Telly be loving you long time but preferring cats to children gets you a flea in the ear and the shortest shrift you EVER saw
Ladies - time to ditch the borefriend and get with a real man
Let's get this straight - they drugged her, killed her, sat on her body for three weeks then dumped her in the ocean? Fuck you, Johnny Incompetentos...
The Mamas and the Papas rocked
Mea culpa - you a cunta
"Meet the parents" or "destroy what is left of her shattered self-esteem"
Natasha Collins and Mark Speight, saying NO to drugs and the self pitying twerps who use them
Never forgive, never forget, never for fun
Never mind that the case against them stinks like a hogwhore's cunt - just keep bullying the parents
No, Foxy Knoxy - Aerial Telly will not be representing your interests
OK Peter Hill, Daily Express "editor", I'm calling you out, you lying douchebag punk motherfucker shitbag son of a bitch
Roy Keane resigns like the traitorous bog savage, ignorant culchie mouth breather, overspending underachieving shitheel, violent thug, quitter he is.
She came again today
So, the girl you love has got a ginger borefriend
So, you finally cooked for her - is there anything in life that you can't fuck up?
So, you're on holiday with your girl
So, you finally settled for what you knew you could hang on to
Stop your nonsense, ladies... Aerial Telly is single, sane and straight
Sympathy For The Devil
Who the fuck is Mick Jagger?
You're the only Aerial Telly reader whose girlfriend is safe from him
Your breath smells like a thousand miles of shit.
AERIAL TELLY'S GUIDE TO BETTING
200,000 undersexed schlubs have the weekend of their lives after following Aerial Telly's betting advice
Aerial Telly's bookie - rest in peace, loser
Aerial Telly flies across the Atlantic to put his cock in Roy Jones's mouth to silence the chicken torturer forever, making a mockery of the so-called boxing "experts" predictions
Aerial Telly - love and compassion in his heart, cash money in his wallet and your girl on his jock
Aerial Telly's refusal to take inferior prices on Miguel Cotto means he wins AGAIN
Aerial Telly shows a hell of a lot of class by not celebrating yet another night of betting glory
Aerial Telly wins crushing victory against forces of darkness - bookmaker on suicide watch
Amir Khan World Champion before the end of the year? Get the fuck out of here.
Amir Khan played with Aerial Telly and all he got was a broken jaw, a face full of cum and a crate full of broken dreams
Antonio Margarito is a cheating sick piece of shit who should be banned from boxing for life for stealing victory from Aerial Telly and Miguel Cotto should be reinstated as the rightful welterweight champion of the world
The beast Miguel Cotto is going to buttfuck Antonio Margarito, piss in his face, then stomp him to death in front of a horrified bipartisan crowd as Margarito's wife weeps bitter tears before swearing revenge against the savage Puerto Rican and all his countrymen.
Bernard Hopkins v Joe Calzaghe is going the distance
Big Brother betting. Brian at 1.83 - have you freaks lost your minds?
Cotto v Margarito - Aerial Telly's boundless compassion means he can't get a wedge on at the correct price
Joe Calzaghe is going to beat Mikkel Kessler
Joke Calslappy will murder chicken torturing, child support avoiding, dog murderer Roid Jones
Listen up, fuckwads - Floyd Mayweather to beat Oscar De La Hoya on points at anything over 8/11 is the bet of the year
Manny Pacquiao, the Mexicutioner, has killed more Mexicans than the maquiladoras
Manny Pacquiao, the Mexicutioner, Harvester of Souls, is the greatest fighter that ever lived
O'Neill at 4.5? Lay that motherfucker with everything you've got
OK, you Appalachian pissdrinkers get this - Winky Wright to beat Bernard Hopkins at evens is a phenomenal bet, the type that comes around once a century
Paulie Malignaggi is the biggest turd in boxing history and Aerial Telly is a first ballot Hall of Famer whose genius for calling the big fights is unparalleled
Ricky Fatton CAN beat Floyd Mayweather. But the value is Ugly Boy Floyd at 1.57
Roid Jones jnr? You must be joking, Joke
Scandinavian betting giant's eyes water as they take a balls deep ass fucking from Aerial Telly
When Ricky Hatton beats Paulie Malignaggi like Aerial Telly readers beat their Johnsons, "people" will wonder why the price was 1.48 just days before the massacre
Yes, Aerial Telly puts his money where his miggedy mouth is
You'd have to be a total kiddy fiddler not to back Ricky Hatton against Jose Luis Castillo when Bet Direct are offering 1.62
TV REVIEWS (cont'd)
Pushing Daisies series premiere...
Richard and Judy
Rome Season One
Saxondale
The Secret Life of A Manic Depressive
The Secret Policemen's Ball
Seduction School: Size Doesn't Matter
Sex Addict
Seymour Butts
Shameless
Shameless Season 4
Shane
The Shield
The Shield - Season Five Finale
The Shield - Season 6
The Shield series finale
Six Feet Under
Skins
Skins Season 2
Smoking Room
Sons of Anarchy
The Sopranos Season 6
Space Cadets
The Spy Who Stole My Life
State of the TV Nation Address
Stepkids In Love
Studs of Suburbia
Summer Heights High
Supernanny
Surviving Disaster
Take That... for the Record
Talk to me
Ted Bundy - Natural Porn Killer
Terminator - The Sarah Connor Chronicles
The Thick Of It
This Life +10
This World: Kidnap Cops
Too Ugly For Love
True Blood
TV's Naughtiest Blunders
Unanimous
Veronica Mars
Veronica Mars Season Three Half-term Report
Veronica Mars Season Two
Veronica Mars Season Three Premiere
Veronica Mars Season Three finale
A Very Social Secretary
Weeds
Weeds Season 3
When Lineker Met Maradona
Wimbledon coverage
The Wire Season 3
The Wire, Season 4
The Wire Season 5 Premiere
The Wire Series Finale
World Cup coverage
World's Deadliest Gangs
X Factor 2005
X-Factor 2007
Zoo Magazine adverts
FILM REVIEWS
28 Weeks Later
2 Days In Paris
American Gangster
Apocalypto
Atonement
The Bank Job
The Bourne Ultimatum
Control
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Dawn Of The Dead
The Departed
The Descent
Fahrenheit 9/11
Hard Candy
Ils (Them)
In Bruges
Juno
Lars and the Real Girl
Let The Right One In
Lust, Caution
Man on Wire
Notes On A Scandal
Once
Open Water
Pan's Labyrinth
Rocky Balboa
Saw
Super Size Me
United 93
WALL-E
When the Levees Broke
The Wrestler
Zodiac
MISC REVIEWS
40 Pupils Suspended For Bullying
Amazon Review Scum
Aerial Telly forever - Birmingham arts scene scum never
Blowjob monologues and the like
Ellen MacArthur
Everything is retro, funky and kitsch on eBay nowadays
Floyd Mayweather v Carlos Manuel Baldomir
An Illustrated History of Dis
Fooled By Randomness
Hip-hop
Indie kids - munching on cock all day, every day, from now until forever
Listen up, douchebags: Larry Merchant KO1 murdering rapist hype merchant scum that constitute boxing's deal-making fight-avoiding turd elite
Morales v Barrera III
Music Sounds Better With You(tube)
NME cool list
Paralympics
Playlouder Reviews
Roid Jones jnr? You must be joking, Joke
Stan Collymore
The Streets
Vertigolf
War Winehouse!
We Expose Palace Security As A Bag Of Shite
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