Jericho

CBS

So was Threads just a load of bollocks then? I only ask because post-nuclear America doesn’t seem to be all that bad. With 24 villains detonating suitcase nukes left, right and centre and every one ¹ getting on with their everyday lives you start to wonder if the whole nuclear holocaust scenario was just abject scaremongering from malcontents. The feeling is compounded by Jericho, which depicts the goings-on in a small Kansas town in the aftermath of a nuclear onslaught on America. If you expected bleeding gums, hair falling out and fourth degree burns then you couldn’t be more wrong. Sure, the power and communications are knocked out but even they come back on after a while. Resources are short, you can’t get reception on your TV set and there’s a lot of people milling around crying. It’s a lot like present day Wolverhampton.

The focus of the show is the Green family – recently returned prodigal son Jake Green seems to have a military background and half a clue what’s going on. Daddy Johnston Green is the town’s mayor and older son Eric is married but fucking the local barmaid. Mommy Green is a boot faced old sow who annoys me frequently. Recently arrived resident Robert Hawkins, turns out to be a CIA man who had prior knowledge of the attacks.

“Shoshannah Stern is a nice curvy piece of deaf pie and despite being a bit of a mush mouth almost certainly just lives to suck cock.”

News reports are patchy and unreliable but the upshot is that 23 American cities have been nuked by terrorists, there’s three or four different Presidents
and there’s something like 30 million dead. I think that must be where Threads comes in.

The lovely deaf cocksucker from Weeds turns up as a lovely deaf farm girl on Jericho. Shoshannah Stern is a nice curvy piece of deaf pie and despite being a bit of a mush mouth almost certainly just lives to suck cock. Which is just as well as there’s not much else for a deaf girl to do in small-town post apocalypse America.

"Maybe it’s just me but I’d be a lot happier if babies were being worn with three feet, an anvil for a head and immunity to all known disease."

20 episodes into its first season and we seem to be heading for quite a tense climax with war brewing between Jericho and a neighbouring town. Although audience ratings have been disappointing Jericho is a decent little show but it can leave you feeling very frustrated. They never seem to capitalise on the terror and panic you expect in freshly nuked America. The general impression you get is that there’s a power cut in town and that we’ll all pull through if we light a few candles and sing few verses of kum-bay-yah. Maybe it’s just me but I’d be a lot happier if babies were being worn with three feet, an anvil for a head and immunity to all known disease. If Jericho does struggle its way into a second season if they should address this toot sweet.

The best thing about it: When they decide to step the action up, it can get very exciting .

The worst thing about it: Slips into Little House On The Prairie land too often .

The verdict on Jericho: We’re not in Kansas any more, Toto.

Marks out of 10: 7

¹ Everyone apart from the 13,000 dead. Suckers.