Netflix
You’ll remember the movie From Dusk Till Dawn for holy water condom bombs, jackhammer stakes and the revelation that Salma Hayek is a sexually attractive woman. Who wouldn’t want to revisit all that? So we’re back with Rapey Richie Gecko (Zane Holtz) and brother Seth (D.J. Cotrona) the Ronnie and Reggie of Shitsville, Texas. They’ve just knocked over a bank bumping off four Texas Rangers and two cops in the process. A brief stop off at Benny’s World of Liquor and they can rendezvous with their Mexicunt Paymaster Don Carlos (Wilmer Valderrama), give him his cut of the $30 million payload before GTFO to a new life of riches beyond reckoning. But in one of those FML moments that define the recidivist criminal their visit to Benny’s coincides with the arrival of veteran Texas Ranger Earl McGraw (Don Johnson) and his partner Freddie Gonzalez (Jesse Garcia). I mean really, what were the odds?
In a tale of the completely predictable Earl gets his back blown out by Rapey Rich who puts one in the clerk for good measure. Two broads are also taken hostage as Freddie tries to negotiate a way out for his dying partner. Seth seems in control but Rapey Rich sees things no sane man could countenance – visions of the two hostage broads as hell fiends and the sinister but beautiful Santanico Pandemonium (Eiza Gonzalez) whispering macabre counsel in his ear. She’s a strange one that Santanico – could be to do with being thrown in a snakepit by 15th century by Aztec tribesmen and deep throating a python that conferred a hellish immortality on her? Not making excuses – just saying.
She’s a strange one that Santanico – could be to do with being thrown in a snakepit by 15th century by Aztec tribesmen and deep throating a python.
It’s a decent stab at recreating the brash, sleazy world of the movie and hints at the diabolical will come to fruition in coming episodes as surely as a significant career downturn is coming to Max Clifford. It’s hard to see it having appeal long-term – the rapist-murderer vampire fighting duo is a narrow niche y’ken.
The verdict: My own brother, a goddamn, shit-sucking vampire!
Marks out of 10: 6.5
