BBC1
It was only a matter of time before By Any Means dealt with a diplomatic incident. Etonian slumlord Phillip Granger pays a scrote to torch one of his buildings to get the low income residents out. In a completely unforeseeable outcome the inferno leaves 18 dead plebs including some kid who was going to trial for West Ham the following day and probably end up killing a bunch of people anyway just like fellow happy hammer Puke from The Guilty. When 5-0 come for Granger he legs it to the Colombian Embassy and claims political asylum. He is quickly granted it by his old friend the ambassador, the coppers are now technically on foreign soil so both they and the dead proles can suck a fat dick. Who can save us from the plague of mass killing pyromaniac posh boys?
Some kid who was going to trial for West Ham the following day and probably end up killing a bunch of people anyway just like fellow happy hammer Puke from The Guilty.
Who else but the BAM squad? First point of order is to set up surveillance in the old lady’s gaffe next door to the embassy disguised as rat catchers. The old broad appears to be Honor Blackman so it’s not surprising that she rumbles them. No worries though as she is World War II espionage old school and wishes them good luck. Great work you old skank.
Jess says she grew up in the slums like all those barbecued oiks and, all things considered, this seems unlikely.
Granger is living in the embassy and Julian Assflanges from the balcony to the press like a cock. This makes Jess awfully cranky. She says she grew up in the slums like all those barbecued oiks and, all things considered, this seems unlikely.
Whatevs. Charlie targets the ambassador’s hot daughter Vanessa (Naomi Scott), chatting her up and getting a job in the embassy as a sous chef. Jess and Jack get fake invites to the ambassadork’s annual bigwig party, where they Dexter Granger in the neck with a syringe, get him on a catering trolley and come really close to getting out of the building before they get made by security. They have to do one, leaving Granger behind, to save their own necks. Not to worry guys, you can’t win them all. Better luck next week tackling that persistent husband-and-wife littering team.
Not to worry guys, you can’t win them all. Better luck next week tackling that persistent husband-and-wife littering team.
Granger meanwhile thinks it’s prudent to get on the diplomatic flight to Colombia the ambassadork had mentioned earlier. He slips into the limousine that drives him to freedom and an entire new continent to burn alive. Only it never. Because when the partition between driver and posh bastard comes down it’s the BAM squad, cocky as hell and a whole fresh new attitude.
It turns out they deliberately screwed up the abduction so he would leave of his own free will to get on the plane, thus wonderfully avoiding any diplomatic incident. They commandeered the limo and nobody checks that there’s an Asian woman, fake sous chef and Ripley from Luther in the front – why would you? It’s likely that the ambassadork knowing that Granger was a schlub smoothed the path. Good job he never worked out that his daughter was honey trapped. One fake dog abduction was all it took. That girl gives it up way too easy.
Good job ambassadork never worked out that his daughter was honey trapped. One fake dog abduction was all it took. That girl gives it up way too easy.
It also looks like TomTom is on board for a while longer having knocked two coppers’ helmets off. I really don’t know what’s going on there.
The verdict: Play with fire you get boned.
Marks out of 10: 7