BBC Four
Previously on The Bridge: August got a permanent September and Martin got a permanent sadface. No time to dwell on your dead offspring though. You know what they say: Another day, another bridge.¹ This time it’s the Øresund Bridge and the Faxborg tanker is crashing its dumb inanimate arse right into it. When the Coast Guard get on board it’s like the fucking Marie Celeste – no crew on-board and a big ass mystery. I’ll tell you who might offer a few clues though: the three Swedish, two Danish youths chained below deck, blitzed off their noggins on God knows what. Wait, did I say two of the 5 were Danish kids? I believe I did. So Saga‘s off to Copenhagen and Martin again! Thank God there was nothing contrived about getting those two back together.
When the Coast Guard get on board it’s like the fucking Marie Celeste – no crew on-board and a big ass mystery.
She hasn’t seen the grizzled pisshead since August’s funeral and that wasn’t exactly a laugh fest. Martin’s guvnor doesn’t want this loopy Aspie skank raking over old ground exposing the raw wound of his colossal trauma and this seems sensible enough. Martin’s been coordinating the police operation for the EU Summit and you can guarantee that summit relating to the main case will be going on there. His scrotum is now healed but the tear in his soul is not. Nonetheless he still has a smile for her when they meet. He’s “grateful” she shot him and in a way I think we all are. It was funny. Stupid Martin.
He’s “grateful” she shot him and in a way I think we all are. It was funny. Stupid Martin.
He’s in a weird trial separation limbo with Mette who has since given birth to their twins Simon and Sanne. Before you know Saga and Martin are bombing around Copenhagen in her sports car playing Scooby Doo on the stereo trying to solve the case of the five shitheads on the tanker.
They bomb around Copenhagen in her sports car playing Scooby Doo on the stereo trying to solve the case of the five shitheads on the tanker.
The case starts to get interesting when one of the shitheads Maria Holst dies. It’s now homicide. The other four come around in hospital – still breathing but groggy as hell. There are traces of LSD in their blood and they babble about flashing lights and a fox. Shithead Viktor is so disturbed he takes a nurse hostage, sticking a pair of scissors to her neck. Martin boots him right in the balls and tells him Maria’s dead with a “so fucking sorry!” I’m not sure that’s in the hostage negotiation handbook but it works well enough.
Martin boots him right in the balls and tells him Maria’s dead with a “so fucking sorry!” I’m not sure that’s in the hostage negotiation handbook
And Martin is working well enough too. He wants to move forward. All the therapy and the bullshit EU policing have only held him back. Seeing Saga really crystallised it – working homicide with a mental blonde is what he needed. He even decides to pop in to prison for a chat with his son’s killer. Smug doesn’t begin to cover the look on Jens‘ face when he clocks him and Martin bolts. I’m certain it’s for the best.
He wants to move forward. All the therapy and the bullshit EU policing have only held him back
There’s news from hospital. The diagnosis is in – the tanker turds have been deliberately infected by pneumonic plague and Saga and Martin need to be quarantined. Bloody hell. Who would do such a thing? It looks very much like it could be one Niklas Svensson. He’s got a younger brother who keeps setting himself on fire and access to deadly chemicals – what more evidence do you need?
He’s got a younger brother who keeps setting himself on fire and access to deadly chemicals – what more evidence do you need?
Next week: Saga and Martin are Plague Cops! They’ve got 48 hours to crack the case before they die.
The verdict: Your blonde lack of social skills are amusing to me.
Marks out of 10: 8
¹ No one has ever said this.