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Breathless episode 4 review | Scum! Dine with me.

Breathless episode 4 review

ITV

Previously on Breathless, the show that hates human foetuses more than Julie Burchill, shit Pete Campbell cheated on shit Joan Harris with shit Rachel Menken. At the enquiry into Enderbury‘s umpteenth killing of the month Doctor Mehta (Ronny Jhutti) knows about the private patient procedure Enderbury was at with Doctor Powell the night previous to the incident. He’s not exactly saying it was an abortion but is not exactly saying it wasn’t either. It’s a tough grilling for Charlie who has to deal with questions like “so the dead bitch – what’s up with that then?” He can’t fully explain it.

It’s a tough grilling for Charlie who has to deal with questions like “so the dead bitch – what’s up with that then?”

Nor can Inspecturd Mulligan fully explain his feelings for Elizabeth but he will say this much: he’s prepared to make the evidence go away if she makes his boner go away by getting on it and riding it like a Triple Crown jockey. The look on her face – akin to one you’d have upon being presented with a 9-month-old vat of Wilfrid Brambell‘s phlegm – suggests that is not the outcome she favours. Yet still she’s a girl who’ll do anything for her family so with Otto away on “business” she sends weird Harry Potter son off with the housekeeper to Southsea and arranges an 8 o’clock booty call with Mulligan. *R Kelly Bump ‘n’ Grind plays*

When the time comes he bangs her ineptly then cries. He did look like a crier, a shame they weren’t taking bets on that beforehand. He’s as big a disappointment out of the bed as he is in it because he hasn’t brought the files. LOL. Looks like Elizabeth gave it up for nothing. Well, if you will marry a murderer.

Speaking of the devil the “business” Otto is on is jetting off to Dorset with <strong “>Angela to perform a “procedure”. The procedure is putting his penis into her vagina as often as possible. There’s also some multiple delivery with pre-eclampsia sort whose dad is banging her – seems to be a Craster from Game of Thrones thing going on there. It incredible that the bloodthirsty doc avoids the temptation urge to kill them all – a social worker intervenes before he can do any more harm. Otto and Ange are ably cockblocked by Sam Cohen medical student – he’s a jew gooseberry. A jewsberry.

Otto and Ange are ably cockblocked by Sam Cohen medical student – he’s a jew gooseberry. A jewsberry.

Richard is still chasing after that old broad which is becoming unseemly. He love her longtime but she’s just all about the cock. He’ll take that as a consolation prize. It seems like she’s dying of some kind of horrible illness but only Powell knows that at the moment. Poor old Richard. When they find the right woman to settle down with?

We certainly know it’s not wife Jean who throws a dinner party so shite it would get minus points on Come Dine with Me. First to arrive are Doctor Mehta and his professor wife, a couple Jean had called Doctor and Mrs Taj Mahal earlier so good work there. Richard’s pops thinks Mehta is the gin wallah which is pretty effing funny.

Short story shorter: Jean gets pissed as a cunt, the in-laws get uppity, Jean leaves big Dick and goes back home to Ange and their mad dad

Short story shorter: Jean gets pissed as a cunt, the in-laws get uppity, Jean leaves big Dick and goes back home to Ange and their mad dad because she can’t pretend to be something she’s not. What, pregnant?  A nonracist? Interesting in any way at all?

Oh and Enderbury gets away with the murder when it’s arbitrarily decided it was natural causes. The killing fields continue.

The verdict: Deathless.

Marks out of 10: 6

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