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Lewis series 8 episode 1 review | What a hunt

Lewis entry wounds part 1

ITV

As we left Lewis he was retiring into the welcome folds of Dr Hobson‘s arse. He’s very happily still there so don’t expect to be seeing much of him in this episode or this series. But check out grandstanding neurosurgeon fuck Alastair Stoke (Jonny Phillips). “It’s not brain surgery!” he jokes to his students as he finishes up in theatre. Gets them every time. He’s exactly the kind of larger-than-life character you’d want sticking the knives and forks in your noggin if your shit was retarded. To relax Alistair spends time at Claiborne Farm hunting lodge where he teaches middle management drones how to slaughter innocent animals. He really is the full package.

And yet still people try and bring the man down. Animal rights insaniacs conduct a Photoshop terror campaign that sends his business partner in the farm Tom Marston (Aden Gillett) into a right tizz. The lodge gets barbecued to a pile of cinders which I think is one of the features on the CS6 Filters Gallery. It’s impressive stuff and even better is when Stoke is found dead like a cunt in the woods with one to the dome. How does software even do that?

That grotesque lanky skeletal freak Hathaway wipes Billie Piper’s quim honey off his face and gets on the case. He’s a DI now and Lewis joins him as his butt boy. It took Innocent about three seconds to convince him to come back and it’s probably for the best that they didn’t drag that one out too long.

That grotesque lanky skeletal freak Hathaway wipes Billie Piper’s quim honey off his face and gets on the case.

The pairing immediately get to work on Stoke’s surgeon co-worker Simon Eastwood (Leo Staar) who is firmly in the frame. He was putting his cock in Stoke’s holer wife Erica (Kara Tointon) and haved beef with him after he fucked up some Asian kid called Nabeel, operating him after downing a litre of vodka.

Also in the frame are Juliet Bravo, the farm’s former owner, Nabeel’s parents and animal rights mental Jessica Tallison (Francesca Zoutewelle). Nabeel is also a suspect but he’s triple incontinent and has to be strapped to a gurney for breakfast each morning so is something of an outsider. There’s something about that motherfucker though – he’s got shifty looks.

Blinded by Billie Piper’s crack juice Hathaway arrests Tom Marston over some bullshit ballistics report but when he too is found dead a la cunte Hathaway looks a right Mr Confused. “There, there” says Lewis stroking his hair as he lays his head in his lap “Daddy make it better”.

He will, too. Stay tuned for part two.

The verdict: Oxford blew.

Marks out of 10: 7.5

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