DirecTV
In a disgusting act of urban terrorism Alison Castro dumps a load of giftwrapped new gym equipment on the Navy Street gym’s doorstep. She’s not fucking about. When Lisa takes her for a quiet drink to chill her the fuck out they bond over the shit men in their lives. It turns out Alison’s father maybe some kind of drug kingpin which, given the Kulina family drug consumption, likely means that the gym equipment is the result of points on their loyalty card.
And responsible for about 98% of that consumption is Christina who meets up with Jay for bacon and waffles. It’s a rare heartwarming experience for Christina but it seems Jay has rather a large sausage he’d like to take a look at. In a desperate attempt to finally get the blowjob off his mom he’s been waiting his whole life he chokes her unconscious and dumps her in the boot of his SUV before transporting her to his padlocked bedroom. He’s got her on 24-hour lockdown until she gives it up. In an unrelated side-effect she may also get the heroin out of the system while she’s there. Is the very definition of win-win.
It turns out that Jay has rather a large sausage he’d like to take a look at.
It’s also a pretty good week for Wheeler who bones a milf and gets a fight with a Floridian killing machine to kick off his currently non-existent comeback. Lisa manages to wrangle Jay a gig too on some shitbox card taking place in a tent in front of 14 people. He tunes up for the bout by knocking seven kinds of shite out of Terry the Fake Irishman for grabbing his mom’s tit, something Jay hasn’t done since he was a baby.
In them rooms downtown a stool pigeon has been squawking that the two Latino gentlemen who beat Nate beat Nate. Nate ain’t talking to no cop but over a bowl of pasta he tells Alvey that essentially the beatdown was all his fault. Harsh but fair. It’s not all misery for Nate though as it looks like he’s going to be be boning that Tatiana physical therapist holer quite soon – as well as he can with a shattered pelvis.
The verdict: Mother, you had me but I never had you..
Marks out of 10: 7.5