With all the death, betrayal, armed robbery and thrown horse races what Overton needs is a wedding. At least that’s what’s on what’s left of the mind of “drugs ruined my career” Tina who has the singular idea of proposing marriage to Rob. She runs it past Flatmate Tard and even that bog-eyed freak counsels against it. When the borefriend actually does come round he’s busy trying to provide James with an alibi. On the night of Cal‘s murder he was meeting a fake passport guy who would provide him with an access all areas passport to bum Cal into another country. “I didn’t know any of this” says Tina. “No offence lady but what you don’t know about shit could fill a fucking stadium” says Rob in a harsh but fair riposte.
“No offence lady but what you don’t know about shit could fill a fucking stadium” says Rob in a harsh but fair riposte.
When they track down Passport Twat he scarpers like a little bitch although Rob does manage to get a photo. Coppers don’t want to know of course as they’ve got their man as far as they’re concerned. Which is more than can be said for Tina who gets a big fuck off to her marriage proposal. “It’s totally out of character” he tells her “And a really shit piece of writing.” She nods sadly in agreement “Christ they phone this in sometimes”.
In shiteinabucket news Ruth the Slut’s Daughter has hired Rob’s gypsy stalker as a childminder. Thank God she’s no kind of psycho with a grievance! Slut’s Daughter can go to the hospital with her mind at ease. She has a great chat with Janine the Fake Vet and as if by magic she’s no longer in her coma – she’s dead like a cunt. She’ll be doing her fake vetting from behind the bars of Overton Cemetery from now on. Not really sure why they dragged her death out. It’s not like anyone gives a rat’s ass.
Ever determined to cram as much as into a day as possible Tina tells Rob about boning Eli and, to be fair to the mentally subnormal nause, he kind of saw that one coming. What he doesn’t see coming is the corpse of Ian the copper, dead like a cunt and he stumbles over it. You’re literally falling over dead bodies in Overton these days.
It’s good news for James though as we can probably rule him out of involvement in Ian’s killing. We finish with Tintin and Rob in the field. He tells her to get some of that good Eli dick. She’ll think about it (before going and doing exactly that).
The verdict: Glue! Glue make me feel brand-new.¹
Marks out of 10: 7.5
¹ Fuck you.