Cinema Can Blow Me
Aerial Telly goes to the movies
It’s no surprise that Aerial Telly, man made telly, television incarnate, begotten not made of one being with the telly is a huge movie buff. He watches more movies by accident than most cinema reviewers watch on purpose and it’s absolutely no surprise that his knowledge, appreciation and insight into the artform dwarfs that of those worthless swine calling themselves “film critics”. So it’s totally and categorically no surprise that he has put together a compendium of his movie reviews on Amazon Kindle for the laughably tokenistic “price” of 77p. It is called Cinema Can Blow Me and it will change what passes for your life. Once purchased it will appear like magic on your PC, laptop, iPad, smart phone, iPod Touch and give you the kind of once-in-a-lifetime reading experience that only despicably contrarian teeds would argue you “deserve”.
Yes, Aerial Telly’s publishing career has produced one smash hit after the next. He’s a man with only heavy artillery in his arsenal. He was born to kill – destruction is his passion, death his art. To play with him is to invoke a fury so primal and so hostile that that it even eclipses the fury Lauryn Shill feels every time her accountant’s number pops up on caller ID.
Aerial Telly forever, Leonardo DiCapreteen never.
CONTENTS
American films
Blue Valentine
Gangs of New York
Gran Torino
Kill the Irishman
The Social Network
The Woman
Apocalypto
Zodiac
The Wrestler
WALL•E
United 93
Tyson
Rocky Balboa
Lars and the Real Girl
Salt
Hard Candy
Fahrenheit 911
The Departed
The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button
Changeling
Sherlock Holmes
The Bourne Ultimatum
Assault in the Ring
American Gangster
Two Days in Paris
28 Weeks Later
British films
Never Let Me Go
Fish Tank
The Last King Of Scotland
The Bank Job
Atonement
The Damned United
Bruno
In Bruges
Control
Clubbed
The Descent
Man On Wire
Foreign films
Animal Kingdom
Ils (Them)
Antichrist
Martyrs
Pan’s Labyrinth
Mesrine
Lust, Caution
Let The Right One In
Once