BBC Two
Previously on Line of Duty: two coppers got barbecued, one charred scrote got euthanized, Georgia took a skydive, Lindsay brained her pisshead neighbour, got framed for murder, ate shit stroganoff in prison, got a pair of boiled lobster claws courtesy of bent screws and you couldn’t move for policemen banging schoolchildren. There are two broad schools of historical theory: the conspiracy and the cock up. Line of Duty series 2 ended up being a mixture of both. As we begin lovable rogue Manish is spilling on the conspiracy, a little at least. He tells AC-12 how he dressed up a scrubber in uniform who “fitted the bill” for Carly’s body photos. What a delightful gesture. It’s amazing this boy wasn’t fast-tracked for management sooner
Kate meanwhile is sleeping in her car like Bobby Chariot after her husbland kicks her out and who could blame him? The lack of a personal life allows her to focus fully on nailing Squealey which she is only able to do after some sterling undercover work from Steve who plays the role of the cuntstruck White Knight as convincingly as it’s ever been played.
And the whole ambush saga? It all went down little something like this. A freshly dumped Squealey was nursing a bruised ego at the town hall paedo function and interrupted Dryden‘s jailbait fellatio with a disapproving glare. A startled Dryden GTFO dumping Carly in the car park – assuredly no way to treat a lady.
Squealey was nursing a bruised ego at the town hall paedo function and interrupted Dryden’s jailbait fellatio with a disapproving glare.
Enter blackmailers Manish and Tommy. Before she scarpers Carly takes an ass whipping from Tommy – a beatdown that prompts Squealey to do her own snooping, investigations that lead to a night-time home visit from DS Akers. Akers hasn’t come to tell Squealey about Lol from This Is England banging her husbland. No, she’s come to tell her of the abuse of Carly – the beatings, the droppings, the whorings, the corner time. Let’s set up an ambush for this piece of shit, she says and “save this girl’s life”. There should be “no heroics, no guns” and on this she was at least half right. In a fairly believable turn-up Dot Cottan is one of Akers’ co-conspirators. The squeaky clean act did seem a bit suspect right enough.
So Squealey went in with the best of intentions and only a last-minute spaz out led to all that unpleasantness and death. Kate and Steve finally confront her with the large amount of cash stashed in her overnight bag. “Who are you to judge me?” she asks as she’s led away and she’s right – they can’t judge her. I’ll tell you who can the – the High Court judge who sentences her to life in prison when she is found guilty of conspiracy to murder. He judges her proper. Squealey is doing life just because she tried to make a difference – a difference that involved killing a dude. This country.
In a classic example of scum rising to the top Dot Cottan gets a permanent gig at anticorruption but it’s not all bad news. We finish with Carly Kirk about to board a ferry – perky and very much alive, certainly more alive than those slow roasted convoy pigs, Tommy Hunter, Georgia, Squealey’s mom and L. Wren Scott. Maybe we’ll see Carly in Series III?
The verdict: A well executed landing.
Marks out of 10: 8