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Kingdom season 1 episode 3 review | Sucker mom

Kingdom season 1 episode 3 review

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We often see the rough side of life on Kingdom but it looks like things could be turning around for junkie Christina. She’s having just the best conversation with a college boy about her own experience with higher education. She could have been a graphic designer, a ballerina or a great artist if she had the time, application or any discernible talent. So in a way they are kind of the same? “Yeah, that’s really fascinating” he says “Now if you could just shut the fuck up and bone a roomful of my friends like I’m paying you to that would be really awesome”. Good old Christina. Always finding her level in life.

Christina employs her canny business skills to negotiate. She’ll fuck them all all five of them for $15 which is roughly $14.50 more than she’s worth. A quick shot of smack into the one remaining viable vein in her foot and she’s good to go. She’s a proud sex worker and doesn’t care who knows it. The crowd has grown to 7 by the time she’s out of the bathroom. Fuck it, she’s done worse.

She’ll fuck them all all five of them for $15 which is roughly $14.50 more than she’s worth.

Like giving birth to that 10 time fuckup Jay. He still trying to fuck his mom and he pays a faux Irishman $300 for the privilege which is roughly $299.50 more than she’s worth. It’s a big waste of his money as he doesn’t get any of that sweet momma pussy and instead gets a shitty monologue about how the night before she sucked off an entire varsity football team, the mascot, the cheerleader squad, the college magazine and the Vice Principal.

In his never-ending quest to get Wheeler back in the game Alvey meets Ryan’s PO. He ain’t trying to hear that MMA shit and bids him GTFO. Wheeler will be killing rats for the foreseeable future. Not a man to take GTFO for an answer Alvey bribes the rat boss to fake employ Wheeler and bring him to his gym each morning. $5000 does the trick. Fucking hell. Jay’s mom would have to fuck 10,000 guys to raise that kind of money. Fortunately she’s a dirty old hooer so she’ll have the money by the weekend.

Once he gets him in the octagon though Wheeler looks like a complete bag of shit. The air is thick with ring rust and it’s a rough work out. Wheeler thinks he’s lost it. “Trust the process” Alvey tells him. All of a sudden the process of chasing rats for a living seems like a pretty sweet option.

In other news Lisa drunkenly promises to get Jay a fight so he can raise enough money to finally bang his mom.

Please someday tell him that there are blind homeless beggars who right now have enough money to fuck his mom until 2058.

The verdict: Momma said knock you out.

Marks out of 10: 7.5

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