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Killing Kennedy review | Commie chameleon

Killing Kennedy review

National Geographic

As John F Kennedy (Rob Lowe) becomes President Kennedy he says “this was supposed to be Joe”. The oldest of the 9 children born to Joseph and Rose Kennedy, Joe Kennedy, the favoured son, was killed in World War II when a bomb he was carrying went off prematurely, as with so many Irishmen before him. The family’s presidential ambitions jumped onto Jack and he totally nailed it. And then he got nailed. Killing Kennedy follows the parallel lives of the president and his nailer Lee Harvey Oswald (Will Rothhaar) as their paths take them to an unlikely intersect on November 22, 1963.

Joe Kennedy, the favoured son, was killed in World War II when a bomb he was carrying went off prematurely, as with so many Irishmen before him.

After exiting the US Marines Oswald defects to the Soviet Union where he meets Marina (Michelle Trachtenberg) who is as warm as Russia is cold. Soon he makes her his wife and later his punching bag. Jack stumbles his way through the Bay of Pigs turd joust and the Cuban missile crisis creature feature ably supported by milf wife Jackie (Ginnifer Goodwin) and tough guy Attorney General brother Bobby (Jack Noseworthy).

Jack is hopped up on cortisone, testosterone, Ritalin and barbiturates; Lee is strung out on delusion and thwarted ambition.

Jack is hopped up on cortisone, testosterone, Ritalin and barbiturates; Lee is strung out on delusion and thwarted ambition. In a helpful heads-up to any potential assassins local newspapers print the motorcade route. Oswald likes what he sees. A free shot! At immortality.

In a helpful heads-up to any potential assassins local newspapers print the motorcade route.

If you’re interested in the charismatic Mick and his dopey nemesis then none of this is news to you. It’s a pretty straightforward retelling without much interpretation or insight. Rob Lowe is fine even if you forever imagine those Chris Traeger mannerisms just below the surface (“Curtis LeMay!” *finger point*). Oswald, who was the lone assassin – a fact only doubted by the terminally thick, is such a tub of shit members of the press had to be his pallbearers. He was an inept Marxist, a shit person but a pretty decent shot and that my friends¹ is all it took.

The verdict: Hamalot.

Marks out of 10: 7

¹ Insert cocktail umbrellas directly into your urethras, bile breaths. You are not Aerial Telly’s “friends”.

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