Aerial Telly

The Guilty episode 3 review | OK, who had suicide in the sweeps?

The Guilty episode one

ITV

In this week’s The Guilty: Tom Rose confesses to everything. He’s obviously lying but he knows about Callum being wrapped in the blue blanket so how does he know that then, atheists? There’s pressure from top brass to charge Tom but Maggie is a maverick renegade cop and she’ll do things her way. While she’s pissing about Tom breaks into the Reid’s house to apologise for not killing Callum which doesn’t go down well. He’s lucky killer Puke‘s not home or he’d kill him quicker than he killed Callum which is very quick indeed. It transpires that Maggie’s big mouth mom mentioned the blanket and he overheard as he passed by. Tom’s a paedo with a conscience see, not like the ones you get at the BBC. He knows he’s got something of antisocial problem with kidfucking and wants to be locked up where he belongs. He gets murdered on remand after spitting in another prisoner’s face. It’s an increasing problem in our prisons: suicide by twat.

He gets murdered on demand after spitting in another prisoner’s face. It’s an increasing problem in our prisons: suicide by twat.

In news no living soul could care about there’s an unconvincing contrived argument between Pleb and Maggie about their young ‘un. The kid’s autistic and why we need this is anybody’s guess. This is a 3 episode miniseries with no time to explore the subject in any depth and glibly skipping over it is pointless. Also having problems are Daniel and Claire. She knows about Daniel and hottie neighbour Teresa so he’s in the doghouse with nare a bowl of water and a bone.

It gives him time to have one of several flashbacks where it is exclusively revealed that, just as Aerial Telly predicted, Puke is a cold-blooded killer. Because he lost his mother young Puke felt threatened by Callum and had no option but to execute him. He’d tried drowning him in the bath before but Daniel had stopped him. Of course, the night of Callum’s death he was busy fooling around with Teresa.

Because he lost his mother young Puke felt threatened by Callum and had no option but to execute him.

In a very minor detail it turns out it was an “accidental” suicide by Callum who was introduced to autoerotic asphyxiation by weird Felix the neighbour’s kid. Daniel turns up, sees the dead sprog, assumes completely naturally it’s kill-crazy Luke and decides to bury him like a dog with a bone and then move him closer to home a while later. Daniel confesses it to Claire. It’s a little awkward. If he thought he was in the doghouse before…

So Dan thought he’d put his wife through indescribable torture for the rest of her life to keep his murderous son from a previous relationship out of trouble. What loving father wouldn’t do that? But the main thing is that Maggie was kind of right. In a way aren’t we all to blame for Callum’s death?¹ And regardless of the supposed “innocence” of Puke how stupid are you going to look when that baby choking piece of shit pulls another Southcliffe? Fucker.

The verdict: Hung jury.

Marks out of 10: 7.5

¹ As previously explained, Puke alone is to blame for Callum’s death.

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