Netflix
Hey guys remember that hunger strike nobody, not even the participants, gave two shits about? No? You might want to fast forward through this then. Sister Ingalls flashback! As an idealistic novice nun she takes herself and her hymen to a few protests and frets that she doesn’t clearly hear the voice of God. She’s a bigger attention seeker than Mother Teresa and it gets her excommunicated from the toddler raping baby killing machine known as the Roman Catholic Church and you can only imagine the stink that causes (none). In the present-day she hunger strikes in protest at the treatment of old scrotes like that loopy old fuck they dumped on the streets. The list of things you care about less will be a small one.
Poussey is still sassing Vee calling her a paedophile without the sex (well that’d ruin the fun) and a studio gangster. It’s great to see Poosay tell it like it is but Vee is running out of patience like her name was Beverly Allitt. A fearful reckoning is coming and Poosay don’t want no part of that, no sir.
Chapman manages to get in Soso‘s stupid hunger strike demands into the stupid newsletter because stupid Healy doesn’t even read it properly. Publish and be damned is Chapman’s position. They publish and in due course they are damned. The last ever issue quickly becomes a collector’s item as Figueroa shitcans it like she shitcanned her last three plastic surgeons. Chapman gets transferred quicker than chin beast Jennifer Aniston got transferred to the Ex-Files in Brad Pitt’s phone once he realised Angelina Jolie‘s pum-pum was taking requests.
Chapman manages to get in Soso’s stupid hunger strike demands into the stupid newsletter because stupid Healy doesn’t even read it properly.
Sister Other Tub tells Red it was Boo who ratted her and her tunnel out and the entire correctional facility braces itself for the fallout. When it comes Red gives her a packet of sweeties and tells her she’s out of the family which as prison retribution goes is laaaame. She continues her feeble streak by deciding to shut down the tunnel rather than share it with Vee. One of the old dears has an out-of-the-box solution to the problem. “Why don’t I kill the bitch?” It would certainly be a start. And a finish.
Chapman calls Alex who tells her that Kubra Bollocks didn’t go down and now she’s living in fear having testified against him. She kind of had that one coming. Her other two best friends in the whole world Polly and Larry tell her husbland they are hooking up and he can GTFO. Husbland pops Larry in the snozz but he’s secretly delighted. He can now the Australian in peace without the old lady bothering him.
Storm clouds gather as Vee tells Taystee Tay Tay that the next time Poosay fucks up it’s her responsibility. I’ve a feeling that fuckup could be coming quite soon. Meanwhile, that old bitch shanks the wrong black woman as Vee look son. “Cracka-ass cracker” she mumbles under her breath she ponders exactly how real the shit is about to get. Significantly is the current betting.
The verdict: Sister lacked.
Marks out of 10: 7.5