Midseason reflections

Who’s still bringing it in 2009?

What exactly are Lost playing at? This entire season feels like fan fiction with retroactive continuity, meaningless surprise reveals and temporal rule bending aplenty. You can’t change the past when you time travel, they tell us assuredly. Oh wait – yes you can. Daniel Farraday only thought you couldn’t because he hadn’t taken into account the "variables" i.e. people and their free will. Well who the fuck else was going to change the past, Dannyboy ? Seriously, is that the best switching horses in midstream move you can come up with? And I’m sick of these "Oh my God – Kate‘s her own father?" moments and the "we have to explode a hydrogen bomb to stop the island doing that thing it does with electromagnetism" (note to Lost storyliners: hydrogen bombs? Never helpful). Bringing Locke back from the dead about 40 seconds after he dies is just lame and robs every subsequent death on the show of its impact. You’re slipping, son. For real.

Anna Hutchison in Underbelly –

"I’m sick of these ‘Oh my God – Kate’s her own father?’ moments and the ‘we have to explode a hydrogen bomb to stop the island doing that thing it does with electromagnetism’ (note to Lost storyliners: hydrogen bombs? Never helpful)."

Thank Christ 30 Rock never lets me down. With writing tight as Miley Cyrus‘s snatch, season three has kept the momentum going and the school reunion episode was possibly the best of the show’s entire run. Tina Fey is a wonderful thing.

The Mentalist is still cool but it seems to have jettisoned talking about Red John altogether. You remember Red John don’t you? No? Neither does the show apparently. Red John is the serial killer who killed Jane‘s wife and child. It’s a really strange inefficient way to deal with what is ostensibly a significant series arc. Is he after Red John or not? If so, could we perhaps see some of this? Given that he can read people’s minds, histories and intentions better than anyone that ever lived mightn’t he be put to some good use in solving his family’s murder? Just a thought.

“He can read people’s minds better than anyone that ever lived – mightn’t he be put to some good use in solving his family’s murder?"

Breaking Bad continues to be intelligent, principled and moving in its sophomore year. My only complaint is the continued Walt lying to his wife storyline. I always find it annoying when a protagonist has to Clark Kent their way through the world and as his excuses become lamer I feel like I’m watching Clive the excuses guy from Monkey Dust. Give it up, already Walt. The increasing focus on Hank, Walt’s DEA brother-in-law, has turned out very well. Good to see Jesse finally getting some ass as well.

"I always find it annoying when a protagonist has to Clark Kent their way through the world and as his excuses become lamer I feel like I’m watching Clive the excuses guy from Monkey Dust. Give it up, already Walt"

And there’s no shortage of ass on Underbelly: a Tale of Two Cities, the follow-up to Underbelly. Set in New South Wales and Victoria, it deals with the corruption, violence and mayhem of the Mr Asia drug syndicate years between 1976 and 1987. Anna Hutchinson stars as Allison Dine, spending much of the time with her top off, making herself an early front runner for TV Pie of the Year. It’s not like Aerial Telly to focus on such things but she really is stunningly pretty and has the most spectacular rack. Kiwi pie has much to recommend it.

So Lost is Lost, 30 Rock rocks, The Mentalist is slightly mental, Breaking Bad is breaking good and a Tale of Two Cities is a tale of two titties. Aerial Telly finds this an acceptable report card but he will not be cutting the shows any slack. He is a hard taskmaster who reaps where he has not sown. He keeps television honest. One day they will all thank him. As should you.

 

Imagined: 1st May 2009