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Homeland season 3 episode 9 review

The Secrets BBC One episode 3 review | The Visitor


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If there’s one thing this season of Homeland needed it was Dickless Brony shitting himself like his name was Tony Adams and that’s exactly what episode 9 delivers. Cold turkey has got him on the run and Saul‘s masterplan to fly him to Iran in 6 days to assassinate the hawkish General Durka to shove Javadi up the food chain is looking on very dicey ground. That freak Dar Adal, always ready with a Top Tips style piece of advice, comments that giving Brony some banned psychedelic that literally does what one of those “This Is Your Brain on Drugs” campaign ads depicted then that would accelerate the process. Saul is all for that so in no time at all Brony is as whacked as Mister Burns was when he saw Poppin’ Fresh. He’s belting out Halls of Montezuma to Sergeant Tom Walker who you’ll remember, he killed. Twice. I don’t know much about the war on terror but I do know that’s some good shit he’s on.

Homeland needed Dickless Brony shitting himself like his name was Tony Adams and that’s exactly what episode 9 delivers.

So Saul is on a real roll right now and feeling pretty chuffed with himself. One thing he can’t work out though is how Senator Fuckface knows about his trip to Caracas. He sends Virgil and Max to sweep his gaffe for surveillance and they the find a bug that Mira‘s banger Alain placed on Saul’s cuntputer. That would explain things. Alain’s tactics are bare Mossad and when Virgil gets photos of Alain meeting with Blandrew Cockheart it’s a smoking gun that Saul can point at the senator to get a few more weeks before his directorship announcement and you know what that means. Brony training montage!

Alain’s tactics are bare Mossad and when Virgil gets photos of Alain meeting with Blandrew Cockheart it’s a smoking gun Saul can point at Blandrew Cockheart

The son of a bitch needs it too. He looks in worse shape than John “Pig Tits” McDermott. But after 16 days training he looks slightly less deathly and following a pep talk from Carrie he’s ready to get his shit smeared arse into Iran. There’s just one he needs to do first: see Dana.

After 16 days training he looks slightly less deathly and following a pep talk from Carrie he’s ready to get his shit smeared arse into Iran

She’s every inch the estranged daughter of a mass murdering terrorist. He tells her he never done it but she is so over Dickless Brony, crazy Carrie Mathison and the whole Homeland goon squad. She just wants to live her life out as a maid, date emo kids and listen to Pearl Jam records. Dickless slopes sadly out of her shitbox apartment before joining his team for his Iranian suicide mission. You’ll notice he never enquires after Chris. Can you blame him?

The verdict: Tune in, turn on, GTF out.

Marks out of 10: 7.5

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