Aerial Telly shows a hell of a lot of class by not celebrating yet another night of betting glory
You dirtbags could learn a thing or two from him
You think you have a shit life? You think your self-esteem couldn’t get any lower? Most likely, you’re right. But spare a thought for Aerial Telly’s bookmaker. Having been reduced to life on the run, drinking water from toilet bowls and sucking cock in Chicago to survive he was given one final chance by his “employer” to finally rid the company of the Aerial Telly terrorist once and for all. Spies were sent to every bookmakers in the South Birmingham area, all carrying a mugshot of the handsome bastard from 10 years ago, the last time he was allowed to place a bet in person. Aerial Telly is immediately shut down by bookmakers the moment they discover his extraordinary genius for risk assessment. The moment somebody even looking like Aerial Telly enters a bookie’s they are marched round the back and beaten to a pulp in scenes reminiscent of Scorsese‘s Casino.
“Aerial Telly is an insanely generous man who gets a lot of pleasure from giving as his many, many lady friends will attest.”
Aerial Telly no longer “enters” bookmakers’ premises. What could he possibly gain by entering a smoke-filled room of deluded despairing men at their very wits’ end, their lives laying around them in tatters? It would be like an Aerial Telly fan convention. No, Aerial Telly has numerous flunkies to do his bidding for him. He gives them a small fractional participatory fee for their “trouble” but of course it is no “trouble” for them as they would gladly pay to help out Aerial Telly in his fleecing of the bookmakers. He’s minted, loaded and flush so he is happy to throw them a few zloties for their “trouble” as he is an insanely generous man who gets a lot of pleasure from giving as his many, many lady friends will attest.
“So when the bookmakers check their security tapes they see a bumbling incompetent who needs 45 attempts to fill in the slip correctly.”
So when the bookmakers check their security tapes and see the fateful wagers being accepted it is not the handsome mug of Aerial Telly they see in the 9/11 departure lounge before boarding United 93 type footage, rather a bumbling incompetent who needs 45 attempts to fill in the slip correctly. When Jose Luis Castillo crumpled to the canvas for the first time in 63 fights under the brutal liver shot from Ricky “Hit Man” Hatton the look of pain and confusion on his face as he failed to make the 10 count was nothing compared to the look of horror and amazement on the bookmaker’s face as he realised that once again he had been ass fucked without the benefit of lubricant by a mysterious stranger.
“The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that Helena Christiansen was an attractive woman. But a close second was the time he convinced the betting world that they could fuck with Aerial Telly.”
He is quite content to be the Keyser Soze of the betting world. You know, the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that Helena Christiansen was an attractive woman. But a close second was the time he convinced the betting world that they could fuck with Aerial Telly and walk away breathing.
And like THAT – he’s gone.
Until the next time.