10 reasons why you’re scum if you smoke
Suck it up, cocksmokers
1. You are exactly the kind of douchebag who rails against McDonald’s and Nestle but conveniently forgets the atrocities the tobacco transnationals commit in the Third World. You have the cancerous blood of 80 million Third World children on your nicotine stained hands.
2. You are exactly the kind of hypocrite who talks about the smoking ban as if it’s an untold infringement on your human rights when infringing people’s rights to an environment that doesn’t smell like Peaches Geldof’s thong is all you’ve been doing your entire life.
“You are exactly the kind of nonce who insists on organic produce so as not to fill your body with toxins when you spend every waking hour on your knees fellating the cancer cock and swallowing its unholy carcinogenic load.”
3. You are exactly the kind of nonce who insists on organic produce so as not to fill your body with toxins when you spend every waking hour on your knees fellating the cancer cock and swallowing its unholy carcinogenic load.
4. You are exactly the kind of idiot who criticises musicians for selling out for doing an advert when you yourself are the addicted crippled bitch of the most evil corporate criminals on the planet.
“You are exactly the kind of cumbucket who talks about how much they love their cat when the rate of feline cancer is doubled cats that share a home with a smoker.”
5. You are exactly the kind of jerk off who reminisces hilariously about the guy at the party with the bad breath unaware that yours smells even worse than his.
6. You are exactly the kind of cumbucket who talks about how much they love their precious fucking cat when the rate of feline cancer is doubled for cats that share a home with a smoker.
7. You are exactly the kind of baby rapist who moans about chavs dropping litter on buses while thinking nothing of littering the world with your foul smelling butts and cellophane wrappers.
8. You are exactly the kind of dupe who believes your smoking is an expression of individuality. Which is exactly what the advertising and marketing filth have been selling you for all these years.
“You are exactly the kind of dupe who believes your smoking is an expression of individuality. Which is exactly what the advertising and marketing filth have been selling you for all these years.”
9. You are exactly the kind of turd who avoids work, paying tax or any kind of social responsibility then expects only the finest medical treatment when your shit body inevitably collapses under your self-inflicted toxic assault.
10. You are exactly the kind of shameless whore who will file a class-action suit against tobacco companies for doing only what you were begging them to since you first took the nicotine cock in your mouth and sucked it deep like the weak willed, cowardly, hypocritical fuck you are.
There are many many more. Quoting Bill Hicks on nonsmokers, talking about the tax you pay on cigarettes like it gets you off the hook, starting smoking in the fucking sixth form. None of it will work. You’ve been rumbled. Aerial Telly has you in his sights. Surrender is your only option.
Scum.