BBC Two
One of the lesser-known pleasures of W1A (which has grown on Aerial Telly by getting better) is dickless piece of shit intern Will. The stuttering prick is hopelessly in love with Simon’s PA Izzy (Ophelia Lovibond a.k.a. Nausey Biba from The Poison Tree) but is lodged so far inside the friendzone that the only chance he has with her is when she’s unconscious. Naturally Izzy does what any woman would in this situation and takes advantage of his emotionally weakened state and has him sticking invites into envelopes while she heeds the Why Don’t You call and goes out and does something less boring instead. He screws it up of course meaning he has to do it all again and he’d do it a third time and the fourth time too if only it meant that once, just once, she’d see him as something other than the no-hope invertebrate he actually is.
Will is lodged so far inside the friendzone that the only chance he has with her is when she’s unconscious.
Speaking of worthless excuses for masculinity writer Dan Shepherd is being pumped up by Lucy for an upcoming script meeting with Anna Rampton and Matt Tavener, Head of Generic Comedy Drama (arf). Lucy’s known Dan for years and she would like to develop him. Oh yes. She’d like to give him a good old developing. But being the kind of wretched apologetic nearly-man he is he stinks the meeting out with a pitch so timid it is barely worthy of the name. They tell him they want to be kept “in the loop” about what he’s doing with it creatively. For those that ain’t know this is commissioning editor for “if I see you in my office again I’m calling security”.
As the corporation prepares for a big event commemorating Lord Reith Ian is struggling to understand how no one gets Reithian values at the BBC. Certainly not Siobhan whose Perfect Curve outfit are working on the BBC brand refresh. We are introduced to her shitbird trifecta: ideation architect Barney Lumsden, trending analyst Coco Lomax and viral concept designer Karl Marx. Siobhan rallies the troops. This is no ordinary refresh “This is the British Broadcasting, like, Company”. She’s right – that’s exactly what it is and her Churchillian rhetoric inspires the revolutionary idea of removing letters from the logo. They will literally take the BBC out of BBC. It’s the miracle Thatcher never lived to see.
The verdict: Get with the programme.
Marks out of 10: 7.5