Supernanny series one review
Channel 4
Nannying is a blood sport. What fool told you otherwise? Cut out his lying tongue and skewer it on a cocktail stick with pineapple and chopped liver. He’ll thank you for it one day (in sign language).
And nobody understands guerrilla childcare better than Supernanny Jo Frost – fixing like a cross between Mary Poppins and Eva Braun and taking no shorts from no-one. 16 years of nannying experience and a reputation for turning around the behaviour of the scrotiest of children.
"Jo Frost – fixing like a cross between Mary Poppins and Eva Braun. "
Series two started with The Collins family – parents, Jason and Karen and the kids: a four-pronged rotating maelstrom of spitting, swearing and casual violence.
The ten-year-old turd Daniel and four-year-old turd Nathaniel spent most of their time punching everything in sight and telling their mother to fuck off. Really. If I’d have spoken to my mother like that at that age I’d have been put in hospital – and rightly so.
And it was the mother who was the problem. She had spoilt the little turds rotten then tried to get all tough on them. Naturally, they’ll take the piss if you do that. An emotional Momturd confessed that she didn’t discipline them because she was scared they’d stop loving her. Awwwwwwww! Wibble wibble! Yes, it’s called being a parent you muppet.
Ironic that little Nathaniel utters the truest words in the programme when he calls his mother a cunt (yes, really). From the mouths of babes…
It becomes clear that most of society’s ills can be put at the door of stupid sack of shit parents who won’t get a grip early on. You hardly need great parenting skills to realise that.
Things start getting better when Papa Collins comes home. He lays down the law. And the kids listen. Because he’s acting like a grown-up not a 14 year-old girl.
The father is doing the right thing telling these little punks what’s what in no uncertain terms. Like Supernanny says "Children need constructive routine, they need discipline, boundaries, consistency and they need their parents to implement that." Banishment to the naughty zone and confiscation of toys abound but praise and encouragement for the children when they are not acting up is also vital in the Supernanny philosophy.
Jo’s firm but fair approach works wonders once she’s got past the brick wall of the spectacularly stupid mother. And Jo really is a piece of work – amazingly non-judgmental regarding Momturd .
“don’t marry a dozy tart who will be an embarrassment as a parent and an emotional leech who will suck out your will to live making your every waking moment a nightmare.”
The real lesson relearn from Supernanny is this: don’t marry a dozy tart who will be an embarrassment as a parent and an emotional leech who will suck out your will to live making your every waking moment a nightmare.
If you have already married the bint then consider an affair with the nanny. She’s almost definitely a better bet.
The best thing about it: Jo, working with the children – a marvel to behold
The worst thing about it: Idiot parents
The verdict on Supernanny: Required viewing
Marks out of 10: 7