Charlotte Church is a role model for us all

Time to stop hating

[Very occasionally, something Aerial Telly writes for publication does not make it into print. There is immediately a full-scale inquiry when this happens. A column from Aerial Telly puts 100,000 on the circulation like ~snap~ and the idea of missing a topical peg for an Aerial Telly piece is anathema to any serious newspaper person. Once the atrocity has been committed and discovered heads roll, bollockings ensue and an editor appears in tears on Aerial Telly’s camera phone begging for forgiveness. Aerial Telly never makes a big thing out of it. He’s a very classy guy and he tells the weeping editor “No problem, chump – that’s newspapers for you”. The editor is eternally grateful for this remarkable act of mercy. Anyway, this particular piece was a few months back when some tool tried to diss one of Aerial Telly’s girls, Charlotte Church. You know that that wasn’t happening without a beatdown].

Another day, another dullard. Russ Spencer of Eurovision no-hopers Scooch has responded to Charlotte Church’s dismissal of them as “absolute shit” with a critique of his own “What a pity that the voice of an angel has acquired the mouth of a sewer.” Not quite Dorothy Parker is it?

Fellow Scoocher Natalie Powers continued the assault: “As a mother of a young child myself I find her behaviour and language quite unacceptable. What kind of role model is this for a mum-to-be?”

It’s not clear if Natalie was miming when she spoke but it’s obviously escaped Scooch that not only is Charlotte a self-made millionaire, she’s a bright, opinionated young woman who you don’t see posing in her bra and pants every week unlike so many female presenters, she’s kept a healthy love of food and drink, and shown toughness and resilience in the face of paparazzi intrusion and kiss-and-tell scumbags. If daughters of mine turn out like Charlotte I’ll be one chuffed Papa.

Scooch do raise an interesting point though (no, really). What actually constitutes a good rock role model? We clearly don’t want the clean-living government approved rock’n’roll Bill Hicks lambasted but other same time we can’t really endorse R Kelly with his unconventional approach to fan made movies . We might look to Liam Gallagher for guidance. Tthe stumpy simian nailed his colours to the mast by naming his first born after peace preaching John Lennon. It feels almost churlish to point out that Lennon was a smackhead wife-beater who hadn’t made a good record in years before Imagine went number one with a bullet (well, four bullets if you’re counting). Chrissie Hynde was an imperiously gifted and sassy front woman yet ended up in domestic servitude to Jim Kerr.

Given that we have long since abandoned outdated concepts of raising our children ourselves, it’s clear that the need for rock role models is more pressing than ever. The question is, who are they? What do you reckon? Britney? H from Steps? Bobby Gillespie? Who exactly should your spawn be modelling themselves on? Please choose wisely – the children are our future.