The first point of order in The Walking Dead mid-season finale is for One-Eyed Bri, the artist formerly known as The Governor, to persuade his new people to bumrush the prison. It’ll be a piece of piss, he tells them, particularly with the two hostages Hershel and Bitchonne he’s effortlessly grabbed. They need the shelter and his former comrades are all wrong ‘uns – don’t forget, they’re in a prison. To not follow his plan is to sign their own death warrants. His impeccable logic turns the largely pacifist group into bloodthirsty killers. They make their way to the prison with Mitch in the tank leading the way. Lily and Megan stay behind.
It’ll be a piece of piss, he tells them, particularly with the two hostages Hershel and Bitchonne he’s effortlessly grabbed.
Bri with one eye announces his arrival with an artillery shell into the prison grounds. He’d like a chat with Egg but he’s not really in the talking mood. He’s forced to change his mind though when Bri presents Hershel and Michonne as incentive. All of a sudden you can’t stop the cunt babbling on. He delivers the Gettysburg address of post-apocalyptic rhetoric, making a direct appeal to Brian’s new family. They can live together. They can survive. Government by the people, for the people, against the walkers. The speech begins to capture hearts and minds which is when Brian intervenes. “Liar” he spits. Well that’s not very constructive. Sticks and stones may – oh right, he’s just decapitated Hershel.
All of a sudden you can’t stop the cunt babbling on. He delivers the Gettysburg address of post-apocalyptic rhetoric
This bold debating tactic starts the guns blazing. It’s mayhem. Brian the Brain superbly renders his own plan to occupy the prison useless by destroying the fences and blasting big holes in its walls. Daryl is immense, taking out the tank with a grenade down its barrel and skewering Mitch shortly after. Most of the prison dwellers GTFO on the bus but some (Tyreese, Maggie, Sasha, Daryl, those other two) are left behind.
Brian the Brain superbly renders his own plan to occupy the prison useless by destroying the fences and blasting big holes in its walls.
Brian gets a nasty shock when Lily turns up with a freshly bitten Megan. No time to mourn though so she gets one in the dome from Bri who then gets busy beating Egg to death using his fists as a whisk. Just as he’s about to deliver the final fatal blow Michonne runs him through with her sword. Lily finishes him off by blowing his head off. She was never really down with the invasion plan and he was a lousy lay anyway.
Megan gets one in the dome from Bri who then gets busy beating Egg to death using his fists as a whisk.
Also wormfood is baby Judith whose blood-soaked baby carrier strongly suggests she was a snack between meals for some gimps. Egg and Carl are distraught but as the zombie hordes advance they and the rest of their people have to make like Frank Gallagher and scattoh. Thanks Governor! You one-eyed cocksmoker.
The verdict: Tonight there’s gonna be a jailbreak. Somewhere in this town. See me and the boys we don’t like it. So we’re getting ourselves killed for a cock.
Marks out of 10: 8