Every generation think they invented the casual hookup and Tyger‘s shower of Instagramming, selfie-taking baby rapists are no different. As Tyger Takes On Love opens he’s in Paris banging this broad called Libby he “met” “online”. She’s like a 7.5 I guess. He’s casually dating her so he can put his cock in other dames and in contemplating his own navel he asks the question has the Internet, social media, dating apps and dating sites meant we are less likely to commit than ever before? Anecdotal evidence from shitheads suggests we are. Common sense and historical perspective suggest we’re not. What say we make a one-hour programme listening to the former?
In a completely spontaneous and not at all pre-scripted vignette Tyger tells Libby he wants to see other people. She is professionally shocked. “Reasonably attractive young woman here, son. I can get dick whenever I want – fuck you.” But she soon gets over it.
“Reasonably attractive young woman here, son. I can get dick whenever I want – fuck you.”
And yet despite all the available options 16-18-year-olds feel lonelier than ever before according to bullshit statistics from Edgehill University prompting Tyger to visit his prong star dad Ben again. Pops talks to him about dating in the old days and the prospect of getting to “tit someone up” after four dates. Life was slower back then and so were the women, a bit like Stacey Dooley.
Tyger then investigates dating apps like Tinder and he travels to Belfast to meet Lauren and Rachel in Belfast who use it all the damn time, so they do. Like all heterosexual dating for young people Tinder heavily favours women and will almost certainly cause another Smelliot Todgers style spree killing by the end of the month.
Rachel goes on a date with him. “To be honest, I hadn’t been on a first date in ages” he says. What about the very recent first date with Libby who you “met online” Tyger? Your memory! You guys! He totally gets a make out from her proving once and for all that young people sometimes kiss each other.
But what about those that don’t? IT incel Chris in Leeds says he has cracked the online dating code with massmathics, bio-psychology and neural networking.
What he actually has is a spreadsheet that after thousands of simulations are run reveals that he’s not getting any ass. Like, at all.
Chris’s problem is that he’s an aspie nerdy schlub whose presence makes every vagina in a three-mile radius spontaneously heal over and there’s really no cure for that. What he actually needs is a nice aspie nerdy chick who will appreciate him but guys like him always want to date a Kelly Brook lookalike and best of luck with that one unless you’ve got your own software company and even then she’ll cheat on you with her fitness instructor, all nine members of Slipknot and Tyger Drew-Honey.
Chris’s problem is that he’s an aspie nerdy schlub whose presence makes every vagina in a three-mile radius spontaneously heal over.
As with every single program about everything these days Tyger encounters somebody who says they are addicted to it. JoJo, a DJ from someone in the North East of England, is “addicted” to dating apps. In her opinion her addiction ended a relationship with a canny lad. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that there may have been other factors but whevs.
This has been consistently half-decent series from Tyger, completely at one with its frivolity and fundamental pointlessness. I’m good with that.
The verdict: Love woarghs
Marks out of 10: 7.5