Top Boy

Top Boy series 2 episode 4 review | Albanians! Woddyeloike?

Published by jamdog on 10th September, 2013.

Top Boy series 2 episode 4 review

Channel 4

It’s a mixed bag all-round in the second season finale of Top Boy. Sully grieves for Psycho Mike for all of 35 seconds before deciding that the best way to honour his memory is to embark on a suicidal attempt to retrieve the drugfood back from the Albanians with Dushane. It’s what he would have wanted, he’s pretty certain. But before they can get to that there’s a whole 60 minutes worth of entanglements and intrigues to get through involving drug-related violence, blud and, yes,  fam. Mr Mustapha the chippy owner is more about realfood than drugfood as a rule but once he finds Gem blasted off his noggin on the coke he was holding for Vincent even he becomes a very dangerous man. It’s not that surprising – the saturated fat he pumps into the community daily probably kills a couple of dozen a year as it is.

It’s not that surprising – the saturated fat he pumps into the community daily probably kills a couple of dozen a year as it is.

But just imagine how you’d feel if some Chinaman had been using your boy as a drug mule – far from happy is my guess. So it’s not surprising when Mr Mustapha marches round to his shop and kebabs him right in the leg. There’s rather a lot of blood. If he’s severed his femoral artery then Vincent could be a dead Chinaman like Bert Kwok or Mao Tse-tung. “I’m not even Chinese” his likely last words as the light flickers from his eyes. I could have told you Vincent this world was never made for one as beautiful as poo.

Vincent could be a dead Chinaman like Bert Kwok or Mao Tse-tung. “I’m not even Chinese” his likely last words as the light flickers from his eyes.

Then there’s the whole Kayla issue. The Feds charge her with perverting the course of justice and by way of offering some friendly encouragement not to cooperate the gang kidnaps her little boy Elijah. Well, that’ll get it done. Dushane persuades Rhianna to pass the news onto Kayla to “help her to make the right decision”. It works a treat. Kayla suddenly remembers that she can’t remember anything and the Kamale charge goes away. Result!

But for Rhianna the whole kidnapping a child thing was a bridge too far. “You and me we ain’t the same” she tells Dushane “I thought this was a respectable criminal conspiracy!”  the apparent subtext as she dumps him forever. Oh Rhianna, solicitor to the scrotes. How fearlessly you protected those terrorising their own community and how brilliantly you placed procedural roadblocks in the path of justice. You moved us with your “now move on” catchphrase and your really fit arse and now you yourself have moved on. We will not see your kind again (until the next series).

You moved us with your “now move on” catchphrase and your really fit arse and now you yourself have moved on. We will not see your kind again (until the next series).

Now finally they can deal with that whole messy Albanian business. They go through the neighbouring whorehouse onto the warehouse roof. In a stroke of luck they catch The Albanians slipping, playing cards would you believe. At gunpoint they get the drugs back with a few weapons thrown in for their trouble. The operation goes like a dream and for Dushane it shows that he and Sully are destined to run Shitbox Towers together again. Sully begs to differ. He can’t forgive the Psycho Mike killing (eh?) and starts to set up his own operation in Hoxteth. That’s Series III conflict set up.

So really all that’s left is to kill young Michael for ratting and all will be well. He’s round at Dushane’s flat with Collins just waiting for Dushane to get there. Problem is though that Collins isn’t doing so well, lying dead on the floor, his throat ripped out by the Albanians whose evening they disrupted the previous night. They haven’t noticed Michael hid behind the sofa as who checks behind sofas these days? They wait to ambush Dushane as he makes his way to the flat. Michael, in his last and most stupid act on this Earth, runs to the balcony and warns Dushane about the Albanians. He saves his would-be murderer’s life and gets hoyed from the balcony to his death for his trouble.

 The message is: drop out of school, join a gang, stay away from Chinamen and Albanians. At least I assume that’s what the Channel 4 support line they keep advertising at the end is telling everyone.

Epic fail, fam. Just a few more minutes and Dushane would have been dead and he could have jerked off over his still warm corpse but all Michael’s book learning could not prepare him for the kind of high pressure in-an-instant decisions you have to make while hustling on the streets. The message is: drop out of school, join a gang, stay away from Chinamen and Albanians. At least I assume that’s what the Channel 4 support line they keep advertising at the end is telling everyone.

The verdict: (to slo-mo video of Michael falling) “I belieeeeeeeve I can flyyyyy….”

Marks out of 10: 7.5

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Top Boy series 2 episode 4 review
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