Top Boy

Top Boy series 2 episode 3 review | Silly Sully

Published by jamdog on 3rd September, 2013.

 Top Boy series 2 episode 3 review

Channel 4

“If you’ve been affected by any of the issues on Top Boy then maybe you need a change of lifestyle”. Thanks, Channel 4! In keeping with the reputation of the African-American inhabitants of New Orleans, Psycho Mike and Sully could fuck up a wet dream. A simple contract killing was the deal and yet with the target identified, abducted and restrained they still manage to screw it up. Jermaine‘s brother Rafe kicks in the door of their hideaway and it goes off like gorgonzola on a radiator. I won’t lie, there is some gunplay. Psycho Mike in particular is a bit trigger happy though I think the warning signs were always there with him. The blewsome twosome somehow escape with their hostage and hole up at foneteef Jason‘s place. The really terrifying part is Jason’s tweaker mom offering to blow them every 30 minutes. No one said the life of a gangster was a picnic.

Jermaine’s brother Rafe kicks in the door of their hideaway and it goes off like gorgonzola on a radiator. I won’t lie, there is some gunplay.

Certainly not Dushane who is spinning plates like a bad X-Factor auditionee. He has to play Kofi Anan in the Sully-Mike-Jermain-Rafe turd joust, assuring Sully fam safety and throwing Rafe blud £3000 for his trouble. In return Sully agrees to help them retain their drugfood from the Algerians. It’s not optimal business but as it’s the only deal on the table it’s the best anyone’s going to get. In an amusing little postscript Rafe blows Mike’s head off as he exits a nightclub. Psycho Mike was neither blud nor fam so you can’t really see anyone giving a rat’s ass about that uncouth cracka-ass cracker.

Psycho Mike was neither blud nor fam so you can’t really see anyone giving a rat’s ass about that uncouth cracka-ass cracker.

Speaking of crackers Gem is proving a predictably useless drug mule – screwing up a drug drop just because of a minor incident involving a man’s arm being hacked off. Gem is traumatised and terrified at the consequences of letting down Vincent again but at times like these your friends step up for you. Having failed his football trial future Arsenal legend Ra’Nell is in the kind of fuck-the-world mood that would make him a formidable opponent for anyone under the age of 14. Unfortunately The Chinaman is a (semi) grown man so when Ra’Nell runs into his premises shouting the odds Vincent gives him an old-fashioned Hong Kong Phooey beatdown. And just like so many Arsenal players he leaves potless.

The Chinaman is a (semi) grown man so when Ra’Nell runs into his premises shouting the odds Vincent gives him an old-fashioned Hong Kong Phooey beatdown. And just like so many Arsenal players he leaves potless.

But wait, Dushane is spinning another plate! After Rhianna‘s encouragement he meets property developers Malcolm and Peter who are just dying to go into partnership with a cash-only drug dealer to gentrify the Sun House estate. Rhianna will get 15% of anything he makes and is apparently totally cool with what many would call money-laundering but she is a different kind of lawyer – one who fucks her clients. Listen, it’s hard for a successful black woman to find a suitable partner – give the kid a break.

 Rhianna will get 15% of anything he makes and is apparently totally cool with what many would call money-laundering but she is a different kind of lawyer – one who fucks her clients.

I’ll tell you who else could do with a break: Kayla. Despite her steadfastly sticking to the ‘no comment’ script all day the Feds charge her with Kamale‘s murder and gal hit the roof blud. The stink from Kamale’s decomposing carcass isn’t going away any time soon and Kayla? She’s ready to flip like a North Korean gymnast.

Oh also, Irish Joe‘s dead but see above re: cracka-ass crackers for the reaction to that.

The verdict: I’d be quite curious to know what happened to the guy who had his arm cut off.

Marks out of 10: 7.5

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Top Boy series 2 episode 3 review
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Top Boy series 2 episode 3 review. Future Arsenal legend Ra'Nell suffers a sprained vagina at the hands of the Chinaman. Psycho Mike and Irish Joe: wormfood.
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