When we left girlfriend killing piece of shit Daniel Holden he was deservedly in the middle of the kind of melon twisting skinhead boot party the LA police put on swimming lesson truant Rodney King from Bobby Dean, the brother of the girl he killed, and his crew of flunkies. Killer Dan is now in a coma and in an extended dream sequence/flashback where he ponders the nature of redemption, forgiveness and why there is a toe cap lodged 3 feet up his arse. His former death row neighbour Kerwin visits his subconscious and even though his brain is reduced to shit and marshmallow Daniel is able to inform his dead buddy that he got out of jail, literally. Kerwin the baby killer is ecstatic at the news. He may have been barbecued 79 shades blacker in the chair but the only thing that gives him more joy than Daniel’s freedom is seeing the light flicker out of a toddler’s eyes after he shoots her through the neck.
It’s not all fun and games though as Dan’s shit brain takes him back to his post-Kerwin prison neighbore Wendall, a rum fellow indeed. While masturbating furiously he tells Dan he was one of the inmates who gang raped him in the showers. Dan was choked unconscious at the time but Wendall wants to let him know it wasn’t personal, he was just “friction” to him. “That’s good enough for me!” says Daniel, not one to hold a grudge, but he does go a little bit crazy smearing his cell with shit and book pages. For a quiet guy he’s a real pain in the arse.
The only thing that gives Kerwin more joy than Daniel’s freedom is seeing the light flicker out of a toddler’s eyes after he shoots her through the neck.
Amantha, one of the few females left living in town after Dan and Kerwin’s killing sprees, tends to her brother’s bruised noggin, maintaining a vigil by his hospital bed, polishing his forehead with Pledge every so often and doing that bullshit “no, you go – I’ll stay” dance relatives of the terminally fucked do with her mom. The stepbrother and sister-in-law are still turding around and that cunt friend of his is too. Sheriff Dagget pursues Daniel’s attackers but makes a really big balls of it. Pissing on Daniel’s unconscious body doesn’t seem to have given Bobby Dean any closure – he’s still a right miserable hooer. Maybe someone should piss on him?
This is still one of the best shows on TV and what are you all watching? House of Tards. You slime make me want to puke.
The verdict: Prison works.
Marks out of 10: 8