The big event of the week is Daniel watching as a tree loses a limb like a Def Leppard drummer. It’s not hard to see where Rectify falls on the art versus action spectrum. He’s cleaning windows and acting like more of a tard than usual. His freaky behaviour prompts Amantha to force-feed him apple fritters and fortunately he lasts longer than that dickless piece of shit Mos Def when he had a straw stuck up his nose. When Sheriff Dagnabit comes round to rubberstamp Bobby Dean‘s Go Straight to Jail ticket Dan tells him it wasnae him. Dagnabit is so pissed about it that it’s a good half-hour before he’s calm enough to go out and arrest three black guys for the crime. In all the confusion Dan cleans out his loft, probably to hide evidence of all the other murders he committed.
Over in Casa Christian things are tense between Ted and Tawney. As the tire store is in step momma’s name he’ll have to ask her to co-sign on the bank loan for the move into rim rental. But he’d rather die than do that so he tells the bank lady he’ll put up his house instead. Who sees that going badly? Tawney understandably wants to know more about his business plan before signing her life away but Teddy is so desperate to rent rims to simple coloured folks he can only see a vicious undermining bitch in front of him, like Devourer Medung from Dragons’ Den. Pops doesn’t want to know, Janet will jump with pops and Tawney will jump on Daniel’s bones the first opportunity she gets. Sucks to be Ted, man.
Dagnabit is so pissed about it that it’s a good half-hour before he’s calm enough to go out and arrest three black guys for the crime.
Back at the house of horrors Amantha picks up the first book of her life and it’s Nassim N. Taleb’s The Black Swan, a book about the impact of the highly improbable – things like Daniel going 6 months without killing someone. She’s starting to wonder why Daniel wouldn’t want to testify against Bobby Dean. Like, did he kill the girl he killed? Yes he did Amantha that’s why we call him Killer Dan. Mom tells Amantha she might want to GTFO back to Atlanta if she’s going to keep running her mouth at Daniel. Yeah that’s right mom. Amantha’s the problem child of the family. *Slow handclap*
Meanwhile way out in Shitstain, Virginia Jon picks up Hollis the Granny Killer‘s last meal. Like all defence lawyers he’s a soulless piece of shit but he can’t quite seem to fathom why a killer like Hollis would have lied about leaving his DNA all over the dead granny, wasting everyone’s time. Hollis is having difficulty fathoming why he should give a shit. He’s a killer, Jon gets off killers for a living – they’re both in the killing game, making money out of misery. Still, Hollis let him in on a secret: “I’m wired different Jon – have been as long as I can remember”.
Like all defence lawyers he’s a soulless piece of shit but he can’t quite seem to fathom why a killer like Hollis would have lied
So I expect Jon is wondering if maybe all those other killers he freed were actually killers who killed people? If only there was some sort of sign that they had homicidal tendencies?
But in the real action of the story Daniel tries and fails to drag the tree limb to safety and he has one of his turns. Ted has to help him across the road and although Dan tries to broach the whole choking-out incident Ted’s not really looking to chat. In flashback Daniel gets happy drugs in prison. In the present day he pops in his mother’s car and goes Grand Theft Auto like little Kev from the Kersal massive.
The verdict: Branch manager.
Marks out of 10: 8