Not the first time in his life Killer Dan wakes up over a motionless female body but unusually for him the woman in question is still alive. How Tawney survived a night with the Butcher of Paulie is a question we may never get the answer to. He confesses about the coffee bean attack on Teddy‘s general crack area and Tawney almost dies laughing. Stupid Teddy with his useless coffee bean stuffed crack. Still, it’s a bit of a cockblock Dan’s ran on himself there. His technique is a bit lacking after 20 years inside. He’s no lady killer, even though he’s killed quite a few ladies.
Desperate to solve the already solved murder of Hanna Dean Sheriff Dagnabit surveys the damage round at George Melton‘s place and comes across Trey’s driving licence and the note left by Daniel. A neighbour’s security camera reveals Trey’s pickup and Daniel on his child’s bike disappearing away from the hovel. Suspicious? Just a bit and then a bit more so when some feckless youths discover George Melton’s stinky corpse in the creek. For a town with ae population of 54 Paulie seems like a dangerous place to live.
His technique is a bit lacking after 20 years inside. He’s no lady killer, even though he’s killed quite a few ladies.
Nobody needs to tell Senator Fuckes that. He wants Dan to give a full debrief of the night he killed Hanna and Dan seems OK with that. Liberal John isn’t having it though. Having spent his entire career fearlessly freeing murderers and rapists to strike again he sees the plea-bargain as a disgusting affront to his values. Amantha does her best to fuck him off to Boston to take his shit job with Ally McBeal & Associates but John isn’t taking the hint at least for now.
When we get to the signing of the plea-bargain Dan goes into great detail about his erectile dysfunction the night of Hanna’s demise and seeing her spit roasted by George and Trey and some dude called Christopher. At first he makes out that he didn’t kill her which is just crazy but he finally comes clean with everyone about choking her to death. About time, dude.
So we wait and wait as the deal goes before the judge so the banishment of Dan can go ahead. It looks like there might be a final twist left though as Teddy tries to sneak under the wire at the eleventh hour to press charges on the coffee bean ass rape. Looks like a retrial could be on the cards after all. What’s bad news for Dan is good news for us. Rectify copped a third season renewal this week.
Get the coffee beans ready, Dan. Looks like we’re in this for the long haul.
The verdict: How do I take my coffee? Above the waist, generally.
Marks out of 10: 8