Thank God that BBC Three have broken the taboo on talking about sex workers. Prostitution: What’s The Harm? is their latest fearless sortie into this bleak underworld. There are about 80,000 sex workers in Britain and posh girl journalist/model Billie JD Porter – all polkadot dresses and Peter Pan collars – wants to find out more. Channelling Daisy Donovan’s Angel of Delight character she talks to entrepreneur and part-time comedian Chris who has paid £150,000 for sex, presumably with more than one hooker. Daisy wants to know why. Chris makes the sensible point that the hook up scene – buying a club skank drinks all night on the off-chance you might get a ride – is more expensive per shag than phoning up a brass for a safe bet. Chris’s stand-up routine, drawing heavily on his experiences with prostitutes, reveals him as a shit Russell Brand, a role the actual Russell Brand has been filling very successfully for some time.
His stand-up routine reveals a shit Russell Brand, a role the actual Russell Brand has been filling very successfully for some time.
That’s all swell but Daisy gains no real insight from Chris wanting to put his cock into women who charge by the hour and so she travels to Prague to investigate its stag night scene. To her horror and ours she discovers young men willing to pay for sex. She asks a tanked up herbert the attraction of the city. “It’s full of dirty whores” he responds. It’s exactly this kind of in-the-field reportage that BBC Three was built on.
Back in Britain Daisy identifies the Internet as an important factor in the sex industry’s growth and hits up webcam escort Charlotte. At just 27 Charlotte has established herself as a major player in online dick riding. Her Jodie Marsh tattoos, Jodie Marsh tan and Jody Craddock face give her advantages few can compete with. Charlotte earns a pretty penny and her spreadsheet puts an OMG facial expression on Daisy which at one point looks like it might never leave.
We also talk to Becky Adams who has run a few brothels in her time and wants them decriminalised for the girls’ safety. This certainly makes sense. It’s clear that pimps are some of the worst scumcunts on the planet: violent rapist child abusing slime who deserve to be fed feet-first into a wood chipper and certain Johns are even worse. Annihilating them and protecting the workers are priorities few could reasonably argue with.
Middle class sex workers – inevitably retweeted by dickless piece of shit omega males who last got laid in a previous life.
The downside of treating the sex industry as “an industry like any other” is having to hear dreary drama-addicted middle class sex workers on Twitter talking about their punters, their fannies and how sex positive they are – inevitably retweeted by dickless piece of shit omega males who last got laid in a previous life.
So yeah: legalise prostitution, criminalise cunting off about it if you’re doing it to shock your solicitor parents.
The verdict: All the young girls love Alice.
Marks out of 10: 6