Intended as a companion piece to Band of Brothers, that other high-impact Hanks/Spielberg collaboration, HBO’s Pacific began its reign of terror this week. You may think that we don’t need another expensive war drama. Well that, in the words of Calamity Jane, shows what the fuck you know and what the fuck you paying attention to. Every culture has its war stories so why should America be any different? They serve as catharsis, tribute and timely reminder that, in our very recent past, 100 million people’s shit got retarded and the planet almost fell to real life supervillains and a darkness that would last a thousand years. And while some rat fucks cheered them on, others stood tall. This is their story.
While a garland of flowers may be quite continental, nothing says "Welcome to Guadalcanal" like a decapitated American soldier with his comrade’s cock stuck in his mouth and that is the sight that greets the US Marines fashionably late division as they enter the island’s jungle. Said cock is no longer attached to the comrade who slumps lifelessly against a tree, mutilated and dickless – much like the American Pacific campaign until this point.
Because 9 months after Pearl Harbor had dragged them into war with Japan, America had nothing but a cauliflower arse and a face full of cum to show for it. The Pacific campaign had been one beatdown after another. Guadalcanal would change all that – but at a cost.
"9 months after Pearl Harbor had dragged them into war with Japan, America had nothing but a cauliflower arse and a face full of cum to show for it."
In fact, it would turn out to be one of the most significant turning points in military history. The battle waged for six months in the damp heat of the southern Solomon Islands. Nothing came easy but they finally drove the Japanese Navy back, forcing them on the defensive for the first time in the war, kicking off a chain of events that would eventually lead to Japanese surrender and the end of the war. We’re chiefly following real life Marines John Basilone (Jon Seda), Robert Leckie (James Badge Dale) and Eugene Sledge (Joe Mazzello). They lived it so we could watch it.
This looks promising. It’s lavish, well scripted and acted and it demonstrates its willingness to engage with the ugly side of conflict by placing a dead man’s cock in another man’s mouth. I imagine they had a lot of fun with that cock when the cameras stopped rolling – putting it in Spielberg’s lunch pail, waving it at local schoolkids or having it hanging out of their trousers. After one episode, it’s too early to tell exactly what this will be about but I imagine sacrifice, courage and mutilation will be recurring characters. It feels like a keeper.
The verdict on Pacific: Just watch the awards roll in.
Marks out of 10: 7.5
Imagined: Friday, March 19, 2010