Anti-Social Old Buggers
In a nutshell: Old scrotes gets served with ASBOs
The 411: One of the neologisms that will define this age is ASBO or anti-social behaviour order. The government feel, quite correctly, that repulsive turds who terrorise or harass decent human beings require authoritative action – curtailing their freedoms, stopping them from specific anti-social acts or from associating with named persons. So far, so splendid.
Anti-Social Old Buggers followed three old scrotes – Alexander, an 87 year-old great grandfather and the oldest person in Britain to receive an ASBO for harassing his neighbours – Rosamunde, an insane 88 year-old fuckpig banned from all her local pubs and Jan, a positive youngster at 69,
busy engaged in a drawn-out war of attrition with his local council to stop them hosting private or corporate functions in his beloved Battersea Park.
"Rosamunde, an insane 88 year-old fuckpig banned from all her local pubs"
Of course, old people behaving horribly has been shown before. Mr Trebus from A Life Of Grime battled Haringey council over his pathological hoarding of rubbish in his council property. The narrative is always the same – you see the horrible behaviour, you dislike the old fool, then you hear something about their life that explains their behaviour and makes you sympathise with them. Then the documentary producer picks up a guitar and sings "you never really know a man until you walk a mile in his shoes." You know the type of thing.
In fairness to Mr Trebus he had issues with Nazi occupation in his youth – most of the old scrotes in this programme just had an insanely old spouse die on them. Walking a mile in their shoes is just likely to give you bunions or possibly tapeworm
" These loopy cunts, on the other hand, lurch around from one breach of the peace to the next – the walking embodiment of the Monty Python ‘ Hell’s Grannies’ sketch. "
It was one of those documentaries that passed an hour without really rocking your world. Plenty of pensioners have their spouse die on them – it kind of goes with the territory. Most of them just go on anti-depressants and make their families feel guilty. These loopy cunts, on the other hand, lurch around from one breach of the peace to the next – the walking embodiment of the Monty Python ‘ Hell’s Grannies’ sketch.
If we can draw anything from this it’s that being old is shite. Period. Like Grandpa Abe from The Simpsons nobody pays any attention to them, respects them or wishes that they were alive. Leaving aside the sob stories it’s hardly surprising and that some of them go a bit yampy.
When you consider that the three on show tonight were plainly never that sane to begin with you realise that we face an epidemic of geriatric crime in the coming years.
And you thought the pensions timebomb was the worst of your worries.
The best thing about it: The funny tales of random abuse from geriatrics
The worst thing about it: The persistent attempts to reason with lunatics
The verdict on Anti-Social Old Buggers : Old Shitbags never die – they just get their own Channel 4 documentary.
Marks out of 10: 7