The Honourable Woman episode 5 review

The Honourable Woman episode 5 review | Shimon, feel the noise

Published by jamdog on 31st July, 2014.

 The Honourable Woman episode 5 review
BBC Two

Over in the Durka shitpit she landed herself in all those years ago Nessa worries that a third trimester Hasbeen may viciously kill her in childbirth just like she did her mother. Atika tells her to stop moaning like a little bitch – good advice, well heeded. In the end Nessa opts for natural childbirth. I say opts – it was either that or get hoyed off the summit of Mount Sinai by two 3000-year-old beardy weirdies. Despite Hasbeen’s best efforts Nessa survives the childbirth in a practically pain-free labour. Nessa’s troubles aren’t over though as Atika demands she hand the baby over like now. Typical fucking Atika – making it all about her.

Back in the present day Ephra confronts Nessa about Hasbeen. “Who?” she asks. “The secret child you just had abducted” prompts Ephra. “Oh that fag. Yeah – whatever happened to him?” Ephra eyerolls and tells her that he’s been putting his cock in Hasbeen’s fake mother Atika and as such needs to be kept in the loop on these things. Nessa immediately confronts Atika about it and calls her a “wandering Arab”. No need to get racist, Nesser – Jesus (who you killed).

Weird thing is that Nessa confesses she wanted to fuck Atika from the moment they met and if you’re not  thinking incest threesome here then you can get the fuck out of this website before I cut you. Looks like fibre-optic cable isn’t the only thing getting laid.¹

But for now Nessa has to field the weird baldy ginger who informs her that Dead Nathanial was fed the Shlomo Zahary ❤ Hezbollah report by that Foreign Office fuck Monica Chatwin. Nessa apologises to Shlomo for calling him a lying Durka. “I still can’t give you the cuntract though” she tells him “Because you’re very annoying.”

Looks like fibre-optic cable isn’t the only thing getting laid.

So Nessa confronts Monica Chatshit. Christ there’s a lot of cuntfronting going on. Monica tells her the REAL reason Shlomo got shitcanned. It’s worse than merely bankrolling Hezbollah. Much, much worse. He’s been bugging the entire West Bank and not just in the sense of being a colossal nause. Most critically, in the sense of illegal wiretap surveillance.

And they are busted for it too. At the Stein funded  Nicole Kidman Academy in Tel Aviv academic Shimon Ben-Reuven‘s suspicions are raised when Arab wunderkind Samir Altif fails to get into the Academy after scoring 85 percent in his entrance exam while Israeli soldier Ariel Nonbio sailed in with a score of minus 12 percent.

Seems like all these examaphobe Islamophobe military types run the illegal surveillance out of the basement. Bin-Snooping blabs to the press and it’s the last thing he ever does as he swiftly gets killed by shady Jews for running his mouth. “Right there with you brother ” says Jesus Christ from the right hand of the Father.

Hugo Agogo is still around but it’s not really clear why.

The verdict: It was you who started this Internet shit – the computers.

Marks out of 10: 7

¹Fuck you.

Summary
Review Date
Reviewed Item
The Honourable Woman episode 5
Author Rating
3

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