Homeland series 2, episode 2: Beirut is Back
Aerial Telly has spoken at length on why some women become attracted to redheaded men - essentially because they see them as less than real men. And yet there is a flame top who is more than a real man, Sgt. Nicholas Brody the Uberginge. You know how it is when you've been kept in a hole and been kicked up the arse every day by Al Qaeda for eight years - it changes a man. It certainly changed Nick who went from being a loyal American Marine (arooga!) to Al Qaeda agent (Ummah!) who, while masquerading as Sergeant Freedom, would come within a hair of blowing up the American Vice President in the name of Allah, Palestine and the war on drone strikes on adorable Arab children of his acquaintance. That Brody – he's quite the character and a congressman now so can we hope he's put the treason and other capital crimes behind him.
"Aerial Telly has spoken at length on why some women become attracted to redheaded men - essentially because they see them as less than real men. And yet there is a flame top who is more than a real man, Sgt. Nicholas Brody the Uberginge."
And how about Carrie Mathison – lover, fighter, CIA operative and only woman who ever sussed Nick out? Last seen getting 240000 volts through her noggin to fix her shit brain Carrie now prepares organic vegetable lasagne as her sister and father argue about her lithium levels. It's a stable enough life but there's something missing – maybe the 3000 miles an hour, giddy adrenaline ride of a life in the secret services?
"'YOU GOT IT!' says Carrie with all the poker-faced negotiation skills of Kenny Dalglish on transfer deadline day."
Carrie thought she was done with that spooks shit but when her old Middle Eastern source Fatima will only talk to her about some unspecified Big Thing the agency fly her out to Beirut for a sitdown. Fatima tells her that her husband Hezbollah Durkah has a meeting scheduled with Abu Nazir himself and all she wants for the information is the $5 million reward and a ride the fuck out of Lebanon. "YOU GOT IT!" says Carrie with all the poker-faced negotiation skills of Kenny Dalglish on transfer deadline day. Let's kill this fuck while we have the chance, is Carrie's thinking. It would be the biggest political assassination since Osama bin Lameman got shot through the tits and Carrie has got that killer's glint in her eye.
It takes a while but back in Washington David finally signs off on her harebrained scheme and Operation Redemption is go. There's a live feed of the situation to the Situation Room in the White House and the situation is this: Abu Nazir is about to get his fucking head blown off. The Generals and Secret Service men are just tucking in to their popcorn when who should come in but Congressman Nicholas Brody with his new BFF the Vice President (you remember – the one he nearly killed. The VP is now considering him as a running mate for his presidential bid. Larks, eh? One moment you're plotting to kill the Vice President the next he's offering you his job) "So, whose brutal death are we watching today then?" says Nick, sucking on a jumbo sized carton of Pepsi. "Abu Nazir" comes the response.
"Nick's blood runs cold. All colour drains from his face but nobody can tell because he's a soulless ginger traitor who's already 10 shades whiter than the cast of Midsomer Murders."
Nick's blood runs cold. All colour drains from his face but nobody can tell because he's a soulless ginger traitor who's already 10 shades whiter than the cast of Midsomer Murders. One thing's for certain: woe is he and turmoil, angst and fear to boot. His torturer, mentor and happy sack partner is about to buy the farm and there's not a thing he can do about it. Or is there? Just as the shit is about to pop he sends a sneaky coded warning text to Nazir and before Abu has time to text back "awww wot's wrong hun? Xx" he is bundled out of the line of fire just as the shooting begins and he lives to blight another day.
"Carrie brains one of the Hajis with a brick on her way out so it wasn't an entirely wasted journey."
"WTF?" is the mood on the ground and Carrie is taking it particularly badly. She's in one of those reckless moods – nearly getting herself killed as she bolts around Hezbollah Durkah's gaffe picking up a bag and grabbing anything she can for evidence. She brains one of the Hajis with a brick on her way out so it wasn't an entirely wasted journey.
Not at all in fact. When Saul examines the evidence back Carrie gathered he uncovers an SD card stitched into the bag's lining. He sticks it in the laptop and among the Desi porn, Illuminati sites and recipes for fertiliser bombs is the video suicide note Sergeant Brody left before setting out on his suicide bombing. Vice President? Vice PresiDON'T!
Yeah, try getting out of that Brody. It looks like our conflicted Muslim Marine has finally run out of luck and that America can at last fully confront the Red Menace. You have to assume, though, that it won't be as simple as that. Brody unmasked means the show is over so Saul either loses his memory, loses the video, gets killed or kidnapped and I bet he doesn't fancy any of those options.
"Among the Desi porn, Illuminati sites and recipes for fertiliser bombs is the video suicide note Sergeant Brody left before setting out on his suicide bombing. Vice President? Vice PresiDON'T!"
Still, it was hell of an episode and even though this is the Showtime network, where shows with winning formulas stay exactly as they are, we can safely say that nothing will be the same beyond this point. It's a plausible way to get Carrie back in the game. Vindicated, brilliant, batshit crazy Carrie – backing hunches, flying off handles and fighting her corner like a junkyard dog that missed his meds. It'll be good to have our girl back.
The verdict on Homeland series 2, episode 2: Beirut: I went to Beirut and all I got was this lousy – HOLY SHIT!
Marks out of 10: 9
Imagined: Tuesday, 9 October 2012