It’s a new day in Overton but one thing remains the same: a dead gypsy on a slab in the morgue with no one fessing up to it. The police haul in Tha Kidz for questioning and first up is Tina “drugs would finish my career” Fallon. “Drugs would finish my career” she tells them and before they can respond “what career you deranged ginger skank?” we are back to square one. They are all sticking to the no drugs story like Hymen Cowell sticks to the “carefree bachelor” story.
But it’s an ill wind that blows no good and now that what’s-his-face the gypsy is dead and stinking like a Valentine’s Day with Oscar Pistorius Rob decides it’s time to PAR-TAY. Spring Break! Woooooo!! By coincidence it happens to be James‘s 18th so it’s kind of for that as well.
James is really not in the mood. His sisturd is back from wherever she was pissing in his ear about GTFO of Overton before the crushing futility of country life annihilates him forever. Oxbridge reject dumping ground Durham University have given him a lifeline out of the place but when his moms gets him a tractor for his 18th he knows that he can’t leave now. He’s never leaving.
His sisturd is back from wherever she was pissing in his ear about GTFO of Overton before the crushing futility of country life annihilates him forever.
Over at the stables Crowley the Wonder Horse has got shitty lung Aids but between Eli‘s horse whispering and Janine‘s veterinary skills he is pulled from the very brink of death to adjacent to the brink of death. It’s 50-50 whether he’ll end up thoroughbred or dog food. The tension is literally bearable.
Still, check out Ruth the Slut’s Daughter. Turns out she has a baby who is also Tina‘s sister. Fucking countryside, man. What, they’re each other’s aunties then? That’s just sick.
Slut’s Daughter goes to see her mother Slut who has bad news. Her baby’s fucked up and her shit’s all retarded so Slut’s Daughter sings it a hospital bed lullaby and a lot of fucking good that is to the three-fingered little freak. No thanks at all to Slut’s Daughter there’s some progress on the murder case which apparently the police are still investigating. It seems that Cal was a dope fiend. He tried to lean on Janine – she was into a bad scene, faking horses for ketamine. What can it all mean?
Fuctifino but we finish on James torching Cal’s caravan in an unprovoked hate crime against the gypsies. He’s full of surprises this one.
The verdict: No hesitation, no delay – you come on just like Special K
Marks out of 10: 7.5