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"a depressing but brilliant read.... a superbly written manifesto for nothing." Daniel Hart

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REVIEWS

A-B

7 Days on the Breadline

9/11 Faker

10 Years Younger

24: Season 4

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30 Rock

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Aerial Comment

"Ah fuck it - the cunt bit me" - a Steve Irwin tribute

Alive: Back To The Andes

Amy Winehouse on Never Mind the Buzzcocks

Amy Winehouse on the Charlotte Church show

Anti-Social Old Buggers

The Apprentice

The Apprentice Series Three Final

The Apprentice Series 3 half-term report

The Apprentice Season 4

The Apprentice Series 4 Finale

The Armstrongs

Arrested Development

Ashes to Ashes

Battlestar Galactica Season 3

Battlestar Galactica Season 3 finale

Battlestar Galactica Season 4

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Battlestar Galactica: Sometimes a Great Notion

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Being... N-Dubz

Bernard Manning From Beyond the Grave

Bernard Matthews Golden Moments

Big Brother 2005

Big Brother 2006 Launch Night

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Big Brother 2007: Get that chickenhead hoodrat out

Big Brother 2008

Big Brother 2008 - It's a Wonderful Life (when you're not in it

Big Brother 2008 - Mario must die

Big Brother 2008: Stuart tapped the compassion vending machine and it toppled over and fell on top of him

Big Brother 2010 final

Big Brother's Big Mouth

Big Brother, Emily Parr and racism

Big Brother got no gas, Sienna Miller got no ass, Mark Ronson got no class

Big Brother poetry

Big Brother, Shilpa Shetty and racism

Bionic Woman pre-air pilot

Bo! in the USA

Bodies

Bodies series finale

Body Shock: Half Ton Man

Bollocks To Cancer

Bonekickers

The Boys Who Killed Stephen Lawrence

Breaking Bad

Breaking Bad Season 2 finale

Breaking Bad Season 3

Bring Back...Grange Hill

Britain's Got Talent Series 4

Britney and Kevin: Chaotic

Bruce Forsyth - A Comedy Roast

Bully Beatdown

C-D

Californication

Carnivale

Caprica pilot

Castrating Galactica - why Faceman needs to can it

Catherine Tate Christmas Special

CBeebies website

Celebrity Big Brother

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China

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Coming Of Age

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Compulsion

The Contender

The Contender Season Two

Criminal Justice

Criminal Justice Season Two

The Cube

Cutting Edge: My Kid's Psychic

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Damages

The Dark Side Of Porn

The Dark Side Of Porn: Amateur Porn

Dead Ringers

Deadwood

Deadwood - a lament

Deadwood Season 3

Derren Brown: The Heist

Derren Brown Investigates

Derren Brown's Russian Roulette

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Dexter Season One

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Dispatches: The Big Heist

Doctor Who

Doctor Who Series 5 Premiere

Doctor Who Series 5 - Vincent and The Doctor

Dragons Den

Drive

E-I

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Election 2005 coverage

Emily Parr - an apology

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Everybody Hates Chris

Extras

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Fix My Fat Head

FlashForward

FlashForward midseason report

Floyd Mayweather v Carlos Manuel Baldomir

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Generation Kill

Getting On

Glee

Going Cold Turkey

Gravity

Guys And Dolls

Hannah Bradbeer - wide forehead having X Factor goddess

Hard Sell: BT

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Heather Mills: what really happened

Heroes

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Hidden Lives - Three In A Bed

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House

How Not To Live Your Life

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I'm All Shook Up: Parkinson's at 25

I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here

I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here, 2006

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I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here 2009

In This Corner

The Inbetweeners

The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret

Inside Waco

REVIEWS | A-B | C-D | E-I | J-M | N-R | S-T | U-Z | MISC


Everybody Hates Chris

Everybody Hates Chris

UPN

There's no shortage of problems translating stand-up to sitcom. The vehicle needs to be exactly the right shape or it all ends horribly. Cobbling together ill-concealed stand-up routines around gossamer-thin plots and cookie cutter characters is a waste of everyone's time - why not just watch the stand-up?

"Lucille Ball, Bill Cosby and Jerry Seinfeld all had era-defining sitcoms."

It's never a necessary move yet Lucille Ball, Bill Cosby and Jerry Seinfeld all had era-defining sitcoms. It seems like every stand-up wants one, even if it's a really bad idea.

The mercurial brilliance of Chris Rock wouldn't seem a good candidate for family sitcom - his incendiary race and relationships monologues hit hard and low with ferocious intelligence - not something you really associate with the 9 o'clock slot.

"His mother insists that buses across town to the almost exclusively white Corleone Junior High."

Everybody Hates Chris gets around this by setting itself in Chris's childhood - a childhood that informed much of his no-nonsense philosophy on race, gender and family life. Grown-up Chris voice-overs the commentary, giving the inside scoop on the neighbourhood before it became a 'hood.

Chris has to deal with his thrift obsessed father, ghetto snob mother and being the "emergency adult" for his spoilt sister Tonya and ladies' man younger brother Drew.

His mother insists that he buses across town to the almost exclusively white Corleone Junior High. An understandable enough action, with the gun culture firmly embedded in the Brooklyn black schools of the Eighties. As Rock notes "Much like rock 'n' roll, school shootings were invented by blacks and stolen by the white man". Yeah, but the Trenchcoat Mafia did it with such style.

"As Rock says 'Much like rock 'n' roll, school shootings were invented by blacks and stolen by the white man'. Yeah, but the Trenchcoat Mafia did it with such style."

But once there, Chris has to deal with being the only black boy in school and the attentions of school bully Joey Caruso. Avoiding the beatdowns and racial taunts becomes a daily hazard - not exactly light material but the humour is cathartic.

"He got away with calling me nigger that day, but later in life he said it at a DMX concert and nearly got stomped to death". You can only hope this is a true story.

"Rock was recently asked where they found Williams. 'I was at Michael Jackson's house, and this kid came running out,'"

Chris Tyler Williams does a good misunderstood, exasperated kid - managing to combine resignation with defiance and never falling into cute kid syndrome. Rock was recently asked where they found Williams. "I was at Michael Jackson's house, and this kid came running out". And when they said Jackson was nurturing young talent everybody got the wrong idea. Tsk.

There is a lot of affectionate Eighties retro, notably in the brief snatches of music from the decade that taste forgot. Rock's narrative is strong and sparky, giving it the feel of The Wonder Years but without the schmaltz. Much of the niftily edited action has got something of Malcolm in the Middle's skewed take on family life about it. It doesn't quite reach the heights of Malcolm but very few things do.

"The irony is that Everybody Hates Chris works because he's not in it."

The irony is that Everybody Hates Chris works because he's not in it. Sure, his presence is there as producer and narrator but you're not constantly focusing on him, giving the other characters time to shine.

They ain't The Cosbys but they've got their pride. The family that's just aspirational enough that their kids won't be holding up liquor stores in 10 years' time is the building block of America. Recognising this is the next step in their evolution into a civilised country.

The best thing about it: Momma Rock's 'slap' one-liners ( "I will slap your name outta the phone book and call Ma Bell and tell her I did it")

The worst thing about it: The Eighties fashion crimes.

The verdict on Everybody Hates Chris: Chris rocks.

Marks out of 10: 7


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REVIEWS (cont'd)

J-M

Jericho

John From Cincinnati

Jordan and Peter: Marriage And Mayhem

Joss Whedon's Dollhouse will be the greatest television show in history

Journeyman

jPod

Keys To The Vip

The Kill Point

Kings

King Of Shaves advert

Life

The Life and Times of Tim

Life on Mars

Lip Service

Live From Studio Five

Louie

Louis Theroux - The City Addicted to Crystal Meth

Loose Women

Lost

Lost Season 2

Lost Season 3 Finale

Lost Season 3: half-term report

Lost Season 3 Premiere

Lost Season 4 Half Term report

Lost Season 6 Premiere

Lost Season 6x09 - Ab Aeterno

Lost Series Finale

Luther

Luther Series One finale

Mad Men

Mad Men Season 2

Mad Men Season 2 Finale

Mad Men Season 3 Premiere

Mad Men Season 3 Finale

Mad Men Season 4

The Madness of Boy George

Mars Believe World Cup Campaign

Man vs Wild

Martina Cole's The Take

Mary Archer

The Mentalist

Mercy Series Premiere

Michael Carroll: King Of Chavs

Misfits

The Mitchell Brothers' Return

Mock the Week

Modern Family

Mongrels

Monkey Dust

Morales v Barrera III

My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding

My Family

My Name Is Earl

My Penis And I

My Supermodel Baby

 

N-R

Nibble Nobby's Nuts adverts

Nigella

Neighbours 20th anniversary show

No Angels

No Heroics

Old Enough To Be His Mother

Oscars 2005

Only Yesterday - The Carpenters' Story

Pacific

Paradox

Party Animals

Party Down

The Persuasionists

Peaches Geldof: Teen America

Pete Burns' Cosmetic Surgery Nightmares

The Peter Serafinowicz Show

PhoneShop

The Pick-up Artist

The Pickup Artist Season 2 Premiere

Pineapple Dance Studios

Preston's Walk Out on Never Mind The Buzzcocks

Prison Break

Prison Break 2

Prison Break Season Two: half-term report

Prison Break Season Two Premiere

Prison Break Season Two Finale

Prison Break Season 4 Half Term Report

Pulling

Pulse

Pushing Daisies series premiere...

Richard and Judy

Rev

Rome Season One

S-T

Saxondale

The Secret Life of A Manic Depressive

The Secret Policemen's Ball

Seduction School: Size Doesn't Matter

Sex Addict

Seymour Butts

Shameless

Shameless Season 4

Shane

Sherlock

Sherlock series 1 finale: The Great Game

The Shield

The Shield - Season Five Finale

The Shield - Season 6

The Shield series finale

Six Feet Under

Skins

Skins Season 2

Smoking Room

Sons of Anarchy

Sons of Anarchy Season 2 Premiere

The Sopranos Season 6

Space Cadets

Spartacus: Blood and Sand

Spartacus: Blood and Sand Season One Finale

The Spy Who Stole My Life

State of the TV Nation Address

Stepkids In Love

Strike Back

Studs of Suburbia

Summer Heights High

Supernanny

Surviving Disaster

Take That... for the Record

Talk to me

Take Me Out

Ted Bundy - Natural Porn Killer

Terminator - The Sarah Connor Chronicles

The Thick Of It

The Thick of It Series 3

This Life +10

This World: Kidnap Cops

Top 30 TV Shows of 2010

Tower Block of Commons

Treme

True Stories - The Trials Of Amanda Knox

Too Ugly For Love

True Blood

True Blood Season 2 Final

TV's Naughtiest Blunders

U-Z

Unanimous

Underbelly

Undercover Princesses

Veronica Mars

Veronica Mars Season Three Half-term Report

Veronica Mars Season Two

Veronica Mars Season Three Premiere

Veronica Mars Season Three finale

A Very Social Secretary

Vexed

Weeds

Weeds Season 3

Weeds Season 4

Weeds Season 5 Finale

Weeds Season 5 Premiere

When Fearne Met Peaches

When Lineker Met Maradona

Wimbledon coverage

The Wire Season 3

The Wire, Season 4

The Wire Season 5 Premiere

The Wire Series Finale

World Cup coverage

World Cup Final 2010

The World Cup has been kidnapped and molested

World's Deadliest Gangs

Worried About the Boy

X Factor 2005

X-Factor 2007

X-Factor 2008

X-Factor 2009

MISC REVIEWS

40 Pupils Suspended For Bullying

606 with Danny Baker

Amazon Review Scum

Blowjob monologues and the like

Everything is retro, funky and kitsch on eBay nowadays

Floyd Mayweather v Carlos Manuel Baldomir

An Illustrated History of Dis

Fooled By Randomness

Hip-hop

Indie kids - munching on cock all day, every day, from now until forever

Listen up, douchebags: Larry Merchant KO1 murdering rapist hype merchant scum that constitute boxing's deal-making fight-avoiding turd elite

Love skunk Vernon Kay sprays his rat jism

Morales v Barrera III

Music Sounds Better With You(tube)

NME cool list

Playlouder Reviews

Roid Jones jnr? You must be joking, Joke

Stan Collymore

The Streets

Vertigolf

War Winehouse!

We Expose Palace Security As A Bag Of Shite