Previously on The Escape Artist: wee Jamie remembers scratching the bad man on the head while Toby Kebbell kills two women and any credibility the character may have had. It’s the trial of Liam Foyle and it’s an absolute piece of piss for Maggie. She challenges the forensics, as you always must when you know your boy is guilty, and then gets the search of the adjacent storage unit declared illegal and like magic Foyle is discharged on the grounds of insufficient evidence. Maggie shakes his hand as they part which is probably a good move as it looks like wee Will‘s failure to do that was what got wee Mrs Will killed. As Foyle walks past Will’s crew Danny punches him in the guts for his abysmal acting performance. He takes it in good humour though. He’ll probably kill a chick to celebrate tonight.
As Foyle walks past Will’s crew Danny punches him in the guts for his abysmal acting performance.
Will won’t hear of an appeal. He scoffs at the thought of a civil case. Even if you win you lose. Instead he gets local scrote Vadim Kumarin to clone Foyle’s credit card and it throws up a name: Ben Elligan I think he says? I wonder what his story is.
In any case he travels up to Berwick-upon-Tweed for a job interview. Or maybe not. Because he “runs into” Danny Foyle there. He follows him up a cunty forest road. There’s a sign: Beinn Alligin. It’s Jock for Mountain of Beauty and is a popular Highland walk for twats. I think we’ve found our Ben Elligan.
There’s a sign: Beinn Alligin. It’s Jock for Mountain of Beauty and is a popular Highland walk for twats.
Foyle’s got a big old mountain retreat up Ben Elligan. Will watches him as he chops wood. Not in the sense of Prince Buster‘s Rough Rider meaning to give a handjob rather the more literal sense of using an axe to split timber logs in two. What is it with serial killers becoming lumberjacks this year?
Will watches him as he chops wood. Not in the sense of Prince Buster’s Rough Rider meaning to give a handjob
Anyway, the Inch High, Private Eye shtick is in vain as Foyle rumbles him. Once unmasked Will stabs him badly by which I mean ineptly. But wait. Foyle goes into allergic anaphylaxis. Something on the knife perhaps? Will rings 999 who direct him through the EpiPen® procedure. It works so well that while Will is discussing roaming in the gloaming with bonny Morag on the phone Foyle gets up and whacks him over the head with a poker before collapsing unconscious. Great work, Will.
while Will is discussing roaming in the gloaming with bonny Morag on the phone Foyle gets up and whacks him over the head with a poker
Danger grows exponentially. An upturned gas lamp starts a fire. Will drags Foyle out to the ambulancemen and safety. It’s a short lived respite for the turd though as he puffs up like the Michelin Man and goes into seven different kinds of arrest. He dies much like his performance has.
Will is charged with murder. Murder? Aye, murder. He refuses to cop a plea and represents himself. It seems that Foyle had a rare gastropod allergy and that Will just happened to stab him with a knife that had been recently digging around in limpets. It does seem like a bit of coincidence but in his superb closing speech Will says he could have easily let the cunt barbecue as he danced around the house naked and covered with woad. Well, I suppose there’s that.
Will says he could have easily let the cunt barbecue as he danced around the house naked and covered with woad
Maggie has been doing her own detective work and as the jury consider their verdict she buttonholes Will to let him know that she knows he done it. He’s all “whevs” and when the verdict comes in it’s that brilliant Scottish hedge ‘Not proven’ and he walks away a free man. It works out pretty well for Will. He gets rid of an annoying wife he would have had to expensively divorce in the next couple of years gratis, literally gets away with murder and maintains his 100% record of acquittals.
And this was the best episode of the three and that’s largely because Liam Foyle spends most of his time choking to death. A pony antagonist stopped this from being one of the best dramas of the year. If one of your leads thinks he’s in Rentaghost you’re facing an uphill struggle from the off.
The verdict: Majority decision.
Marks out of 10: 7.5